I've been listening to Dr. Harley on the website and he mentions plan A. Plan A is time spent in meeting Emotional Needs of WS to sort of love them back into the marriage. My question is this. I've found out about the A. and it ended immediately. It's been about a month and I've forgiven her, but she is still in this fog, sort of disconnecting from me. She still says she loves me, and that she wants it to work. But, she says that I deserve better than her and that she deathly afraid of it not working after all the effort of trying. She says these fears have just paralyzed her emotionally. She won't talk very personally with me, usually just superficial things.

Am I in plan A? Because it sounds like plan A is just until the A. is over, then it's off to the marriage rebuilding. I need to know where to go from here.

Help

really and truly more other people will reply but the weekends tend to be real slow. i'm not real eloquent about expressing the MB concepts and how they relate to people situations but i will give it a try. my understanding is that plan A is essentially for life, when it's put in the context of meeting your WS needs. i just think that once you are in recovery then you just call it "meeting each other's needs" versus plan A. does that make sense?

sounds like your wife is in a withdrawal period and that is normal and you still have a lot more reading and posting to do <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> continue to read what's on the homepage and read all the books by dr. harley, and again read and post here A LOT to learn more. some times it takes posting to other members before you start getting replies to your own posts. don't give up and know that we are all pulling for you and yours, prayers to you.