I've posted here once before and received alot of good advice. Now I'm back for more. Long story short, my fiance (we've been together about 1 1/2 yrs) recently told me about a sexual relationship he had with a married woman 3 yrs ago. Apparently, it was a purely sexual thing that only lasted 6 weeks. I was terribly upset because this OW is someone he introduced me to a few months into our relationship, and we have done things socially with her AND her H. All these times we have "hung out", I never knew that they had been together...and I assume her H didn't know either. He says they have done nothing since we have been together, and I believe him, but he has told me about 1 instance where she wanted him to "come over and talk"...which he did not do. After following the advise of MB, I calmly told him how I felt, and I asked him to never speak to her again. He threw a FIT! Acted like I was the devil for posting our personal problems here. Eventually he calmed down but is still very hesitant to end the friendship. Although, he did agree to tell her (with me present) that I know thier secret, and that we will not put up with any unrespectful comments or behavior from her. To me this is a start, but I still want him to cut off ALL communication with her. Since my last post, we have been doing great. He listens to me more and is more understanding. Everything is going so good, but everyday I have that sinking feeling in my stomach that he may never see how distructive this will be on our relationship. Now, I feel like taking matters into my own hands, and call the OWH. But I'm doubtful because these are all events that happened 3 yrs ago, and because we are doing so well. I'm afraid this may be too big of a LB for him to cope with. What do you all think???

The OW must go.

I'm not sure whether her H needs 2 be told now, unless they're unwilling 2 end their so-called "friendship." Also, think long and hard about whether you want 2 compromise your principles by marrying your fiance if he believes it's okay 2 hang on2 former affair partners as "friends." This is worse than a former girlfriend, because they cheated on her H.

best,
-ol' 2long

Michelle. Does it bother you that you are marrying a man that has no respect for marital fidelity and sleeps with a married woman? And then shamelessly parades in front of the cuckolded husband with his dirty little secret?

Nor is he a man who respects the vow of fidelity in a marriage, much less his friends.

If he would do this to his friend, you do understand that he will do it you too, right? I hope you aren't under the illusion that you are going to change him, because you can't.