GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I ams SO mad and upset!! I really thought I was beyond getting so upset and mad but I let that WH get to me again!

So,it looks like my wonderful CHEATING soon to EX husband is now going to see homewrecking sl** each weekend.And how do I know? Because he has told our girls that he is only going to see them once a week now istead of twice like they are expecting or shall I say WERE.SOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's bad enough to treat me like this but then to deprive the girls of their time with their father because of that piece of trash is INFURIATING!!!!!!!

He told my SIL that he still very much wants my friendship???!!!! Even though he is comfortable with being separated and not working on our marriage and needing a BREAK! He thinks I am going for a legal separation but he also said to SIL that he is ok with however things turn out.

HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! I am so mad I don't know what to do.After all he has put me through he doesn't even have the ba*** to end the marriage himself.WHAT A COWARD!!! Even to the very last he is his selfish,useless,WH who still would rather anyone else do his work for him.So I get the luxury of getting cheated on repeatedly and then fill out the paperwork!!!!!!!!

I cannot WAIT to get this slime out of my life and my childrens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OG, I hear you. I feel your pain and angry. There is not much I can say, I just send you a hug. {{{{{{{OG}}}}}}}}. I am an Octobergirl too.

I am an octobergirl TOO!!! 22nd Oct...what is yours?

OG...octobergirls are strong ladies kay. Be strong.

I know what it feels whenever the kids are affected especially when WH ignore them and gives excuse whether because of OW or work.

I get mad about that too. Furious beyond words and always the first thing in my mind is divorcing him.

Dont let it get to you. You must be stronger than that.

Divorcing him wont make WH go closer or make more time with the kids. It wont change anything. The only thing that will make changes if WH decides to return home.

If he doesnt want to see them so be it. Dont let it affect you...it is his lost.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! I am so mad I don't know what to do.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think that summed up your post O. If your were resolved to ending it with WH, you wouldn't be posting like that.

I feel for you, but divorce will not make him a better father, just a divorced one. Remember too that couples don't divorce, families do. You cannot rid yourself of him by divorce. There will always be graduations, baptisms and school plays. You will always see the ghost of your husband in your children's faces.

Do you love him...deep down? Not liking him right now is different from not loving.

Do you remeber the good times, you've shared?
I've read the best indicator of the potential future happiness of a couple is whether they were happy in the past.

What would you miss about your marriage?

Try to put your disillusionment aside for the moment and try not not make a decision when you are devastated, depleted and demoralized.

OG

I so know the anger you feel. My WH has also given up time with our kids for the OW. I am not a violent person but during these times if he had been around I could have beaten him.

Do something special with your girls. Create some lasting memories something he can't take away from you. I keep telling myself my kids are better off spending time with me rather than their self absorbed dad.

If you were only planning on a legal seperation I wouldn't change your plans based on this new info. Give it some time and make this decision with a clear head. Easier said than done I know.

Err, okay, that was kind of disrespectful of your WH, Octobergirl. You prolly knew that, though.

In any case, let's look at what's going on. Your WH is deciding to spend MORE time with OW rather than with his girls. Sucks to be him.... because I think that probably means that OW is starting to make demands and require choices that aren't going to sit all that well with your WH in the long run. Might take him awhile, and it really sucks for your daughters.... but I bet OW won't be able to really make the time worth his while.

I bet it won't be as fun as it's "supposed" to be.

I bet he'll start to feel the emptiness more.

I'd just let this one play itself out, OG, without getting riled up by the awfulness of it all.

More information will be revealed. I'm sure of it.

Thank you all for your replies.I had a pretty bad weekend and I can thank my wonderful WH for that.Every time I think I am beyond getting so upset he does something to make me crash and burn.I completely lost it.He is going back up to the he** hole under the premise of going to a friends wedding. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

It is ludicrous that he would go there,where the homewrecker lives, for a wedding which I don't believe anyway.He thinks he is putting the girls first as his priority but I keep reminding him that he does not and has not.Even if this was a wedding,is it that much more important than spending that time with his children? He only sees them each weekend but even that is at stake now.He is finding all kinds of reasons to not come home for one or both days of the weekend now including last weekend where he claimed to be doing his laundry.Well I didn't know he could do HIS laundry in New york(checked cell phone bill)! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Meanwhile my girls were sad that they only had one day with him until he abruptly left Saturday night.

GRRRR.Well,the paperwork is still ongoing and hopefully I can get it done within the next few weeks.I sent WH an e-mail today talking about some issues he had talked about with my mom yesterday and at the end I gave some hints that I still loved him and that all I wanted was for us to have a chance and not have our girls grow up in a broken home etc,etc and he took that and ran.Whenever I give of myself even a little bit,he takes it upon himself to act self righteous and make me feel like I should grovel.Forget that.Instead of us ever getting together again,he would rather be stubborn and continue on what he is doing,because he feels like it and wants to.Well I am not going to be part of that anymore.

So,today I told myself I would hang around MB and try to help some others.Thanks again for everyone's support.

O

Octobergirl - they will continue to do what is in the best interest of them.. He will see the girls a little bit to make it look good then it is all about Him.... Are you putting through papers for a divorce or just a seperation??? I too let my ex put me through hell week after week - even after we divorced and now being divorced a year later - he still doesn't have it right with my girls - they are 11 and 14 -- and their relationship is pretty much crap..... How old are your girls?? And do you live in Massachusetts? Just wondering someone said that you did??

Hi maw,

My daughter's are 9 and 12 and are my precious little angels here on earth. I adore them so I am very upset at what is about to happen to them.They have been sheltered for all of their lives and this is going to be very painful when they find out about our D and why it is happening, although I don't plan on going into the gory details naturally,just a very thought out discussion on my part.They do not know anything about the homewrecker or why daddy has made bad decisions,etc.

I was going to file a Legal Separation but I have already been separated in more ways than one so D is what I feel I should do.It was never what I wanted for me or my family but I cannot go on any longer in this madness,it is taking it's toll on me big time.

I am sorry that you had to endure such agony too and that your girls had to go through what they did.I think one of the worst parts to this madness is that I know things could be so much better but WH is convinced that the homewrecker is his answer.He is in for a big let down and he admits that he is not well.My mom lit into him yesterday and he admits to everything being a mess and that he isn't doing anything to stop it.He says "I know" to everything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Anyway,it was nice to have someone go to bat on my behalf.My mom loved my WH dearly and she is just disgusted with his actions and that he doesn't get help.Argh.

I do live in a beautiful little town in Mass.

O

Octobergirl - well my other woman homewrecker lives next door to me and my girls pretty much know the gist of what is going on and it is so hard....The thing that my ex has never figured out is that - it isn't about him - it isn't about me and it is about them.... This all started with my girls when they were 8 and 11 so I know what you are going through and it bites... So where abouts in Mass. - I live near the cape?? Just wondering if we were close by???And you will be surprised how your girls - react - it is funny the one thing that has come out of all of this hurt and pain is that "my" relationship with my girls is 100% stronger than ever...

Hi again,

UGH.Your homewrecker lives next door!? Yikes.Boy would that be hard for me but even if she did,I have 7 acres of private land so she wouldn't really be that close.I feel for you.I have to say that I really think adultery is ALL about the WS and their issues.That is why they choose to commit adultery instead of ANYTHING else.I was in a debate about this the other day.But,my girls and I have a very strong bond too and it will only be stronger.I am very close to my mom now after going through quite a lot with her and my dad growing up.

I live on the other side of the state BUT I am going to be down the cape in P-Town in a couple months for a vacation with my girls.Staying at the P-Town Inn.Can't wait. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

O