I dont know whether to feel sorry for OW or not...she is only 21 years old. But i do understand what she may be feeling. And i do understand what a creep my WH is for taking advantage of someone so young. I do not think OW at her advantage of being young and FREE will ever let WH go. And WH is soooooo fog up...i think i am in for a long ride on plan b wagon.

You are great believer and you have a big heart.

How did you get to this point of not feeling betrayed or hurt with WH and he talking fog?

Zizzy - Hmmm. I don't know. I think posting and talking to people here. When I talk to a WS (something I never did at first), I see how hurt they are too.

While we BS's think that they are having a great time, many of them are torn and miserable inside. Then when you look at the mess they have made of everything, you start to have compassion for them.

Plan B has helped me too. I have completely changed.

I hope i get there oneday.

I have read a lot too...all similiar stories...it is incredible to read.

I know my WH is not really having too much of a good time.

How do you show compassion without feeling hurt, taken for granted and a doormate at the same time?

For example at this moment WH car brokedown and if i am not in plan B, I would have extended some help to WH. Even if i did help him and breaking plan B at the same time...i will still feel like i was taken for granted at the end of the day because at the end of the day it is the OW that gets all the ILOVEU...

How do you get pass that point of showing compassion without feeling hurt?

You sound so much at peace. I want to be like you too.

zizzy - Who knows how you get to this point? I have no idea. I have been in mostly Plan B, but did call WH when he had an opportunity to retire. I told him I did not want to ruin his life, and that I would stop D papers so he could retire. He was very grateful, but is still with OW.

I guess my self-esteem has come back, and it does not bother me. If he stays with her, it is his loss. But I will be fine. You will get there too.

Believer, you are a good example for all of us. I wish I will be there some day.

lostnhurt - You will heal too. Remember I've been doing the MB plan (mostly) since July.

Yikes - WH came over to pick up his gun cabinet and went ballistic. We had a real show here. He is furious that my roommate is moving in today.

He is deeply fogged out. He asked how I could do this to him, said I promised that I would take him back when OW was out of the picture. He wanted to know why I didn't consult him before doing this.

In the middle of this, his girlfriend walked by my house. She has no car right now, and no job. I guess she feels like she has to check up on him. (Oh and by the way, she does).

WH went on and on about how I have been stringing him along, and am moving on without him. Yep, he's got that right. The train is moving out of the station with or WITHOUT him.

Luckily I am going to visit parents and sister tomorrow in Seattle, so I can get some rest and relaxation. When he left, he told me that when I get back, we have to sit down and talk. He wants his marriage back.

I told him that it has always been up to him. I have been waiting since July. He said he knew that I have been waiting too long. Then off he went to pick up OW.

Oh, Believer, you are the strong one. I don't know how I can face a situation like this if I were you. Please put it behind and enjoy your vacation tomorrow.

Your Wh still picked up OW while he said he wants the M? What is going on his mind?

As yet, I am not angry with OW, which suprises me. I also do not feel pity.

They are not worth our pity. If you sleep with someone elses H/W, you should expect to be hated. Everyone knows its wrong, but these people go ahead and do it anyway. They deserve to be hated.

Lots of love to you believer. You are an inspiration. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yes they did bring it on themselves. But I really don't believe they intended to do it. I think it started out innocently enough and now they are trapped. And then they start losing one thing after another.

I always thought they were completely happy, and I was the miserable one. But they are conflicted. They are giving up their families. They know deep down that they cannot trust each other. What a terrible price to pay.

Believer,

Your last post about your WH sounds SO much like something my WH would do or say. He was angry that I wouldn't let him move back in at the end of April when he gave up his apartment, even though he hadn't yet broken off with OW. And then I threw that darned "no drinking" clause in (of course it had been there all along...he just chose to forget about it).

So all his problems are my fault or my making. I just have to be careful to not let myself start to believe that.

You do a great job. You are my inspiration. Have a great time in Seattle! I was there 20 years ago--it was a beautiful city except for all the clouds and cool weather. I'd go back to visit again if I had a reason.

Will miss your posts while you're gone!

LL

LL-

I will still post in Seattle. My sis has the internet. But I can hardly wait to get out of here. We have to realize that WS's are deeply in the fog.

Mine is coming over more and more. He is afraid he is losing me (and he is), but unwilling to give up OW. I'm just glad that I don't have to go through what they are going through.

I read about your WH's accident. If it ain't one thing, it's another.

Believer, enjoy your vacation in Seattle and forget about WH.

We were there just last year. I love the city. Me and Wh were there alone 7 years ago too. I wish some day we can go again as a family.

Believer, enjoy your vacation in Seattle and forget about WH.

We were there just last year. I love the city. Me and Wh were there alone 7 years ago too. I wish some day we can go again as a family.


BTW, I sent you an e-mail with pictures.