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My Dear Spider Slayer friend....

Madam S only wants ONE thing... and ONE thing only~~~

(Psssss.....I figgured this out a long time ago...)

She wants every one here to know in their hearts that she is a "nice" person.

She has no other goal! That is the entire enchalada.

"I am a NICE person."

External validation is her reason for posting.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Kinda cute really.

Pep

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Pep, my dear friend. I have posted to Sarie in the past. I do see the same-old, same-old. But, it is not in my nature to give up without a good try. She is here, and that is much further than my FWH ever went to help our M.

She could just be so fogged-up, thick-headed, and stubborn, that it will take longer for her. I have seen others turn around, both on the WS and BS side. I have hope.

I know I have had many sighs and eye-rolling with others, as I'm sure you did with me, Pep. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I feel I owe it to her and myself and even my H (in a weird way) to help in whatever way I can.

I also have the day off of work unexpectedly, no plans, lots of coffee, AND I'm in a good mood.

Bring it on!

SS

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What is "nice" anyway compared to honorable, trustworthy, faithful, honest...all things a wayward spouse by definition is not?

Nice, maybe you hardly ever yell at your kids or kick your dog? You let your H think you aren't lying to him or subjecting him to STDs?

Can I get a chili dog with cheese?

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong> My Dear Spider Slayer friend....

Madam S only wants ONE thing... and ONE thing only~~~

(Psssss.....I figgured this out a long time ago...)

She wants every one here to know in their hearts that she is a "nice" person.

She has no other goal! That is the entire enchalada.

"I am a NICE person."

External validation is her reason for posting.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Kinda cute really.

Pep
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That would make sense except for her choice of validation site...here does not provide the validation.... I am not sure "she" is malicious per se, but I don't believe she is real...there is dissonant ring to her rhetoric, doesn't add up, is internally faulty....but what do I know the world is a stranger place than ye have ever imagined or some such.

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Originally posted by sufdb:
That would make sense except for her choice of validation site...here does not provide the validation....

Sure it does... she wants nice people to tell her she's nice. People who's opinion matter.

She doesn't want TOW people to tell her she's nice because ~they~ aren't the right sort of people ... they are adulterers!

This is her way of solving her dilemma of how she feels about herself.

Getting nice quality folk to tell her "lots of hugs and support" .... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and BINGO .... Sarie's conscience is clear for the moment.

So simple really.

And I think she's as real as you or I. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pep


<small>[ May 24, 2004, 10:46 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

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And love, Pep, don't forget the love!

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I think that Pep has got it correct! She is out in her garden amongst the lovely lilies, whilst we hash over whether, she is "for real" or truly asking for some assistance!

Does "crazy like a fox" make any sense here?

Have you noticed just how many WS's seem to be frequenting here, only to encourage some sympathy out of a couple of sympathetic few!!!!!

Also, how many of you believe that giving sympathy to someone will help them with their situation? I think it only helps them continue on a broken path. Jmo. I don't know what the answers are for some people.

We make our own beds, just some like to have other beds as well as their own! Kind of "ratty" like!

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong> Originally posted by sufdb:
That would make sense except for her choice of validation site...here does not provide the validation....

Sure it does... she wants nice people to tell her she's nice. People who's opinion matter.

She doesn't want TOW people to tell her she's nice because ~they~ aren't the right sort of people ... they are adulterers!

This is her way of solving her dilemma of how she feels about herself.

Getting nice quality folk to tell her "lots of hugs and support" .... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and BINGO .... Sarie's conscience is clear for the moment.

So simple really.

And I think she's as real as you or I. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pep
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yeah, I thought about that, except she is getting mixed results....however, if she is real, I agree with you re motivation. The solution then is to not validate, but hold her toes to the fire, and chastise her for the despicable user of people she is under that phoney nice facade.

Perhaps a poll....is the sarie persona about a clever manipulation to garner "niceness" validation....or is it a drama junkie who drops in from time to time to stir up the ants nest.

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 11:04 AM: Message edited by: sufdb ]</small>

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I am back in from working in my 'lovely lillies'.
Actually right now they are Peonies, Iris and Poppies to name a few. (Lillies aren't blooming yet.)

OM called this forenoon.
I told him I am thinking of stopping our affair.
I think he might have been a little relieved as then he could be faithful to the lady that is living with him.

It will be extremely difficult for both of us as we have been on this wrong road for nearly 11 years.
We needed one another and we each filled a void.
I think we shared one another's hearts as corny as that sounds!
The love and caring will ALWAYS be there.
That is just a fact!

I get sick in my stomach to even think of not hearing from him anymore; I am SO SCARED of my life without him in it!

However, this affair has GOT to stop. It is TIME! Past time!
I learned on this MB site, that if just ONE affair person says "NO" then there would be no affair.

I have the opportunity RIGHT NOW to be the one that takes the high road and stops this affair.
I have the power!

It has been such a long long time since I have had a CLEAR CONSCIENCE...It actually sounds exciting to me. To be free!

Love, Sarah

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 11:07 AM: Message edited by: Sarie ]</small>

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Well... last year

I ran a "test"...

I told Sarie I could never be her friend... and her response was explosive!

This IS her reason for posting... to get smooches from nice respectable people... she is not here to change.

Pep

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Well, as always ...the proof is in the puddin' honey! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It has been such a long long time since I have had a CLEAR CONSCIENCE...It actually sounds exciting to me. To be free!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">excellent.

do you have thoughts on how you want to confess?

maybe we can give you some feedback on your plan.

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 11:19 AM: Message edited by: FinallyLearning ]</small>

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sarie:
<strong>
And MelodyLane, I guess I will just have a Wendy's chili and garden salad! (From the 99 cent menu!) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Madam, would you like apple pie with that??

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I just wrote and e-mailed this to OM.
Telling my husband will come later because I know I am in for months of withdrawal pain that I want to handle ALONE!
I am sitting here WEEPING...This is SO HARD!
Many will tell me this is a love letter, not a no contact letter but it is both!

"Dear 'OM'.
You know that I really do love you and I truly believe you have loved me with a deeper love than you have or ever will have for any other woman! We gave one another an unbelievable amount of joy for almost 11 years. We are kindred spirits and great friends! We practically share the same heart!

However, I believe this is now the NEXT chapter in our life's book, and it needs to be with us apart; You are now making new memories with 'her name'. Somehow, we need to completely let one another go. Your relationship with 'her' will thrive without me in your life; likewise, my marriage will once again be on the right track. (I can't even remember having a CLEAR conscience.)

I have always appreciated your friendship SO much and I will miss you more than I could ever write here! I am sitting here WEEPING! But it is not fair to 'her' for you to have me as your secret friend and it is has not been fair to 'my H's name' for a long time.

I am glad that you have 'her' as your helpmate now and she will be by your side and love you and take care of you for always. You will never be lonely again.

So from now on, no more phone calls, no e-mails and no get-togethers.
Let's get back on the right road in our lives.
It will be HARD but we can do this.

I yearn to be 'forgiven' by Jesus and the ONLY WAY is if I repent and that means no more contact with you, 'his name'!
Love always, Sarah"

And yes I signed it 'Love always' because I will always love him!

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know that I really do love you and I truly believe you have loved me with a deeper love than you have or ever will have for any other woman! We gave one another an unbelievable amount of joy for almost 11 years. We are kindred spirits and great friends! We practically share the same heart!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Really great way to start a breakup letter, Sarie. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

This sends the wrong message. You need to let your H help you write one that not quite so romantic.

Low

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: LowOrbit ]</small>

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Was this letter the "clearing of the conscience" effort? Wheew.

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Please .... please say you like me!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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Back to the drawing board Mr. Wizard. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

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I went to the e-mail account and deleted it before OM had a chance to read it!

We share the same 'secret' account a password.

I am scared to even send a NO CONTACT love letter!

Because I am sure he will abide with No contact if I ask it.
Sarah

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I love the smell of troll in the morning.

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