and she accepts. WW has known OM for 4 months, lived with him for 2. Heat of the moment, fogland stuff? How seriously do I take this?

---------------
The lexicon du CP (in reverse order)
Plan A/B w/kids w/o intermediary

Experation date of an A

Can a PBL be too short and blunt?

Death Knell?

Brand new and needing informed opinions on hopeless situation

Sounds like a romance made in heaven. I don't know if you should point out that she can't be engaged to OM, she is married to YOU. Or would that be an LB? Give me a break!

How seriously do I take this?

As seriously as you take a Marks Brother's movie...

Aren't they foolish looking?

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds like a romance made in heaven. I don't know if you should point out that she can't be engaged to OM, she is married to YOU. Or would that be an LB? Give me a break!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's all over except for a waiting period. WW hasn't considered herself married since D-day (discovery not divorce) 77 more days and she can do what she wants.

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 10:06 AM: Message edited by: cellophane ]</small>

I guess all you can do is buy some popcorn and sit back and watch the show. You and I know that she is making a HUGE mistake, but looks like she is running full speed ahead.

Your situation reminds me of Brett in Idaho - his wife filed for D, and they got divorce 4 months after D-day. But he already met someone else and is happy about it now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">he already met someone else and is happy about it now.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I wish. Love is gonna have to come find me, between kids and work and then school again next semester (if I can even work that in), I don't anticipate being "back on the market" til I'm 40. I'll be all of 24 tomorrow. It's almost like a prison sentence, my life.

The human mind is an amazingly creative organ.

It can conceive and produce symphonies, deduce scientific theories - then confirm those theories, create written communications with others that express non-written emotions, and invent contraptions to take us to other worlds.

We should not be surprised that with such capabilities, the mind can also create absurd hypocrisies - suicide bombers promoting their way of life and affairees planning to enter a marriage when marriage obviously means nothing to them.

That they plan to marry should speak volumes to you about their "creative" minds. When my WS married her OM, I found it strangely comforting. Perhaps it was the final evidence needed to convict them of being truly nuts.

Don't try to make sense of it because your mind won't allow you. They are in a different frame of mind, a different place, and they cannot see themselves.

CP - That is exactly what Brett said. He was not looking for anyone, and was deeply distressed that his wife wanted a D.

He is a great man, but had little confidence in being able to start over, then BANG, his work friend introduced him to someone. Check out his story under the "She filed for divorce thread, a little ways down in General Questions".

Oh Brother. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Well,isn't that just dandy.Breaking one set of marriage vows to enter into a new set.Boy is that NOT going to last,if it ever happnes.

It may happen and it may not but irregardless,your WW has gone off the deep end.She's like a runaway locomotive so stand clear.Take care of yourself and be true to yourself,even till the very last.

And do not concern yourself with any other women right now.Brett may have found someone else right away(not in his best interest IMO)but you have plenty of time to deal with that another day.You have to heal from this wound first.

O

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

What I always wonder...

Later on (if they actually do get married)

Someone may ask them...

"Tell us, how did you two meet?"

.....ummmmmmmmmm

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pep:
What I always wonder...

Later on (if they actually do get married)

Someone may ask them...

"Tell us, how did you two meet?"

.....ummmmmmmmmm

Pep</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've always wondered that too. What in the heck do they say?

What does the WS, or OP for that matter, say when the relationship/engagement/marriage was adultery-based?

How do they describe how they met?

Well, don't expect for them to be truthful!

My bet is they default to the usual explanation - the former marriage was "over" for years. They were just hanging on for the kids/relatives/pets whatever and finally had enough.

WAT

I've been thinking, that if they do get married, it may be a quicker more permanent end to their relationship than anything else. I hope I can make it to the wedding. I'd love to see if she wears white. I'll sit in the back and heckle.

"... is there any reason these two should not be wed?"

umm..... I can think of a couple.

If they don't do it as soon as they can, I don't think it will happen, but the R could drag on. OM is such a loser, I still don't understand why it's lasted this long, and now they're getting married? I really wish I didn't care. I just want to puke.

X-D%%%%%%%%%%

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cellophane:
<strong>I don't anticipate being "back on the market" til I'm 40. I'll be all of 24 tomorrow. It's almost like a prison sentence, my life. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK, CP - enough of the pity party.

24? Happy birthday, son.

Listen to me and listen to me good. OK?

You are a child.

24? Hell, I didn't even get married until I was 30!!

What's the rush???? Do you think you know everything???? Ahem, that was when you were 17!!

Don't give me this crap about some prison for life. 24? Hell, you're just getting started. I had my first born at 34.

So, suck it up. Getting rid of this woman may be the very best lesson in your short life so far. There will be others. You're WAY ahead of the curve.

So hush and get a grip.

Yea, it hurts. It hurt when you fell off your bike the first time, huh? But you got back on, right?

Don't mind me, I'm mostly talking to myself here. Before WW I hadn't really connected with anyone that I felt really understood and cared since my Dad died. I haven't been close to my mother since she left us. I say us and not him cause that's how it happened. Emotionally I'm adrift. Like many other my WW was best friend and lover, tough to lose either, but both? Lose custody to her completely and her itchy to leave town? I've gone from looking forward to a lifetime with my WW and 3 DDs to losing everything that was important to me in my life, in a very short amount of time. WW puts herself before everyone, and even OM before her own children, she's already using them as a weapon. Every other weekend isn't visitation, it's torture. Let's give the man dying of thirst a few drops of water every other hour til he dies. While we're at it let's make him bleed for it. And if she moves? You can't raise a child through the mail or over a couple of weeks of summer once a year. Should I be happy to be the guy that sends them money and that they see every now and then because they have to, while they call somebody else Daddy?

Guess I'll find somewhere else to rant. Diary maybe? Anyone else keep one?

I said in another thread that I had forgotten how to how fun without WW and kids... maybe I never learned how to have fun in the first place. Dropped out of college at 18 to work full time when I found out WW was pregnant. The things that were amusing to an 18 year old just don't appeal as a (slightly) older father of 3. I don't know what to do to fill the void that WW and DDs leave when they're gone.(If you can't tell by my mood, the kids are gone today, hope WW doesn't change her mind about letting me see them out of schedule for my BD).

Time to learn how to live. Where to start?