Does the spouse have a right to request results of paternity, when the wife is indeed not the mother of the alledged child?
My H is incarcerated & was given a paternity test while in jail. It has been a month now & I have no way of finding out results b/c he has since been moved to a different correctional facility. He has yet to find out results and it isn't as easy for him to ask now that he is in a different county. I am not in contact w/ the OW nor her family. Only way of knowing would be to wait and see if H had been informed via mail of the results.

This has been weighing on me for some time. Please advise... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Thank you..

I tried asking in the Pregnancy and Child forum but I don't think anyone has been in this situation & couldn't advise as of yet.

Your insight is appreciated...Thank you!

I posted on the other board but don't know if you saw my reply.
I don't know about the rights of your asking about the paternity test. I would think your H would have to be told of the results. Even if he is in another facility that shouldn't matter as far as any significant information he needs to know. As I stated before if he has a Probation/Parole Officer they might be able to help you with any questions. Also call the Department of Corrections in your area. The main thing is to keep trying and keep asking questions until you get results. It is frustrating. Just keep being persistant.
What did your husband do to be in jail? Just curious. My WS will be in a detention facility for about 2 yrs. due to his 4th drunk driving. The OW is also pregnant and claims WS is the father. She said she'd wait for him no matter how long it took. I give it a few months and she'll be off with someone else playing the poor victim once again!

Thanks Cyn, sorry I hadn't responded yet. Very busy Monday for me yesterday.

Thank you for the advise, yes I did see your other post. I am just a very impatient person right now. Working on recovery while he's in jail..oh it's been a trip. But there has been progress so I shouldn't be so negitive. The entire situation stinks when I'm trying to raise our two D's 5 & 3 knowing they still have a father (and they don't see him & can't talk as often as when he was in the county jail no joke prison is a WHOLE nother ball game).

He committed six counts of daytime burgarlaries in the 2nd. Got sentenced w/ 4 yrs. While I was working on Plan A/B and he was living a block and half away from us..he was running w/ the wrong people and getting himself in a mess of trouble. Wish I would of known he was badly addicted to his Vicodin and Morphine patches...(bad lower back) and bipolar disorder to top that all off! 6 1/2 years w/ him and I finally have an answer to his unstable irrational behavior (at times..). Damn I miss him though.

I have the address to the OW on the court papers for the paturnity test. She is scared to death of me and continplated even having the test b/c she thought I'd hunt her down and beat her up. Minga..I'm not lowering myself to that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Although, when she called right after the A was exposed from the neighbors I did tell her she was lucky she was pregnant....It was all anger. I thought about sending her a short letter asking her to inform me of the test results but maybe I should just wait to hear from H. I dunno..don't want to look desperate for anwers especially to her of all people!

I'm sorry to hear that you are tied into similar drama as myself. Do you have children also? I know regardless it is hard to be alone. Well, it's good at times but when your so used to having that person there to share the family experiences w/ and then poof they are gone..it is a transition let me tell yah! I feel like I'm M'd to god right now. I don't mean that sarcasticly though...there are needs I feel being forfilled during this committment to him & to my WS. Maybe more for myself perhaps..coming out of this the "better person" as dumb as that sounds.

Thanks for listening... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I know how hard it must be for you. WS and I don't have any children. We were trying until OW came into the picture. She found this out and used it as a way to keep him. I hate her so much. WS was living with her when he had his car accident. She almost lost her baby (before the accident). I was the one who was in the hospital with him during his surgery. He later writes to me when he's in jail and says I know this is all hard for you but it's reality. He has no idea how hard. He wants me and OW to visit him. What a crock of crap. WS is also manic depressive, and has a drinking problem. He met b** w**** (my name for OW) in a bar. She's married and has kids she can't take care of. She of course does drugs and drinks and WS thinks she's wonderful. They fell in love in 3 days. OK, whatever. Let's see how wonderful it all is when she gets tired of waiting for WS and finds someone else to use. I bet WS will regret a few things then. I pray OC is not WS's. I don't want him to have any ties to her at all. She's nasty.
Let me know how things turn out for you as it sounds like we are in almost the exact same situation. I too miss WS so much. We'd been together 13 1/2 yrs. when OW came along a year and a half ago. I wish she'd disappear off the face of the earth and her kids with her.
What are your plans for you and your H now that he will be gone for awhile? I do plan to visit and write at least for now and see how it goes.

Cyn, although we are going through some pretty difficult situations w/ your WS's it is so reassuring to know that I have someone out there who really understands, and is going through the same thing as myself. Thank you for sharing w/ me.

I am in the same spot as yourself. I'm maintaining my committment..confused some days if I really want to wait for him & other days it isn't an issue. We write often, talk maybe twice a week. He's 3 hours away at the new prison he's just been placed & so this weekend will be the first time I've been able to see him in a month. The first time that we'll all be together at the same time in 4 months. Our d's are excited to see their father & I hope it helps curve some of the behavior problems I'm having w/ my 5 yr old. She's very emotional lately. She has been handling things well b/c they had just mommy for 6 months prior to this family break-up. Although it's not the same and they had daddy over every night of the week to visit (where now it's far few and in between) she has been an average child.

It really hit me the other day. She's 5 and weighs 70lbs. I took her to a dietician and since April of last year up until now she's gained 22lbs. I knew she was getting awfully big and really quick but I hadn't truly realized that her appetiete was phycological and her way of dealing w/ her parents problems. It has been a hard thing to except. So, I'm trying to offer them both more stability and pay more attention to this situation. (I just figured she's been chunky since a baby 7 11 1/2 lbs at birth..always got chunky then taller and lost the baby fat..now it's just scary, at high risk for type 2 diabeties before she's even 10 if I can't change her eating habits).

Meanwhile, I'm seeing a therapist to help w/ the mild depression, anxiety, and huge sense of lonliness that I've been experiencing. It didn't help to find out that WS might have a baby out there from his infidelity either. Its been a emotional rollercoaster for me everyday. He gets inprisioned exactly a year from the date he had his 2nd A (right before Valentine's day...) and the publicity was outstanding here in my small pissy town. I'm a business woman so to walk downtown to the bank and to work w/ people who can well distinguish my last name and tie it to his crimes was not helpful at all! We are the only ones in this town w/ our last name! Very embarrassing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

So, to overcome that...everyone's questions..my work knowing...people assumming...our children sad and emotional for 3 1/2 months..then marking my b-day finding out that OW is gonna take WS for a paternity test...WS's offical sentencing..the 4 year thing finally hitting me...his being tossed around from 2 seperate prisons in a month. The calls slowing down..the visits unpermissable for a 14 day period..and all the other stressors of life..minga it's a wonder I don't use drugs.

The big reason why I want to stay with my H is b/c I've come from an unstable abusive family myself. He has had an awful childhood also. I want our children to have a fair chance at having different then what we did. What didn't kill me made me stronger...what didn't kill him made him weak. I believe we all have a purpose. I wouldn't see god allowing me to wed a man that wouldn't be anything more then a father to my children and another painful experience for me to grow from. I believe we went into our marriage all wrong (I was 17 he was 21 w/ a baby on the way I was 6 mo's pregnant) and that if only I would have seen past "being in love" stage and put down some marrital values maybe we could have went into a blessful marriage.

Maybe it's also because I am a hopeless romantic that believes love will prevail? Or because he is my first love I've been w/ him since I was 15yrs old (I know..very young!~) and I can't see sharing these feelings w/ anyone else. But for now, I'm sticking by his side. And attempting to just live it one day at a time. If the good lord shows me any different then I supose the situation will change. Thanks for listening...I'm rambling and should get some work done. Can't wait to get my PC set up for home w/ internet access so I can visit the site more often and have time to really think my post through without the customer's and telephone intruptions.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hope to talk to you again soon Cyn..I'm praying for you..god bless.

I love WS so very much. Yes, at this point I do plan to wait. I don't know what he wants though.
It hurts so much knowing he was with OW and now she is pregnant. I doubt he will get a DNA test, he wants to be a father so bad. How much did the test cost and who paid for it?
I haven't seen him since he was arrested at the hospital. He is 15 miles away from here which isn't too bad. He said he wants me to visit. He wants OW to visit too. Concerned about his child? I doubt she will be able to as she has a criminal record and is currently on probation. Let's hope she can't.
I hope this time away will help him see just exactly what he has and that OW is nothing but a s*** and will be gone before he knows what hit him. I pray that baby is not his. I want her out of his life forever!
Keep me posted. Bless you. I know how you feel!

I'm not sure the cost of the paturnity test. I think b/c she is on welfare they made her go ahead w/ the test so they can get child support payments to apply towards her benefits for her and the child. So, if it is determined his..or whomever's. The father will pay for the test along w/ the birth costs, her prenatal care, etc. etc.
I told WH that if it is his I will file for a legal seperation. I intend to protect my assets..especially the ones I intend to gain within the time he is incarcerated. Minga...he already has one prior to our M and owes them a good $3,500! So to catch up on that one and then a whole other child w/ new expenses....I'm better off filing & protecting myself. Even if I ever wanted support from him I wouldn't get barely anything w/ situations like this took into consideration. He will more then likely get SSI when he gets out anyway & according to disability they issue checks to the children so I hope that's so otherwise he'll spend the rest of his life in jail by the time his arrears hit him from non payment over these next 4 years!

I'm so sorry for you Cyn...it's one thing to have your H away and deal w/ that but the A, the fact that this "______" (i'll leave that blank and stay MB like...) is pregnant and claiming it's his...his wanting you and her to visit him! Are you kidding me? Does he want to stay in this M or not? What does he expect you to do while he is away? Or for any matter being that he has this OW out there & possible OC..does he intend to get out and be with them? And being that she's a druggy what makes him think that she is so loyal..and that this baby is his?

He will be in for a rude awakening you will see. Why do they always figure the grass is greener on the other side? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I'm thinking WS is so far in the fog he can't see anything clearly. He wants to be a father so bad. Right now he is clouded with the effects of the alcohol. OW is a drug too. OW told his mom that if I go and visit him then it's over between them. She would really have a fit if she knew I was with him in the hospital. She is so vindictive, using this baby as well as her own children to get what she wants. I guess she got approved for visitation. I talked to her PO and told her OW had better never threaten me ever again and that I wanted nothing to do with her ever. PO said WS has to make up his mind as to what he wants. Well, why is it everyone sticks up for OW. Oh, she's pregnant. So I guess that excuses everything. How come WS's and OP can do whatever they want and we are left with the hurt and heartache? We must forever suffer the consequences for someone else's choices and actions.