Hey MBers -

Here is my situation. I will welcome all/any advice.

My H and I are newly married, 7 weeks.

His ex-W is filing for re-negotiation of C support, second time since their D several years ago.

While I don't begrudge her support money for raising the C, two things complicate the matter. One, she brings home 2x as much salary as my H, in excess of six figures. Two, she has freely admitted to filing for bankruptcy three months ago.

My H is a kind man, caring and generous to a fault to his Ds. In addition to his C support, he routinely kicks in for camp money, clothing, etc.

Please let me know what kinds of things we should know/watch out for/etc.

WW ... I would stay away from this issue. Unless he asks, you should not tell him what you think about it and what he should do ... I would stay away from this issue.

He could stop this behavior by getting a good lawyer.

-rh-

Wise Wendy,

I would suggest you live up to that name too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Nothing makes a new wife look worse than a situation like this battle..child support!

Don't GET involved with it.....H is only one who should be dealing with XW about this issue accept of course his attorney.

My mom and her H were asked by his X to increase CS and my moms H was thinking this was extremly unfair and only happening because he had remarried and X wanted to cause hardship....

well he went to an attorney and attorney said "you better grab the deal while you can, his X wanted 200.00 increase and attorney said "legally she could get as much as 600.00 increase because now the new W's pay came into play!".....he chose to nicely give her the extra 200.00.

My mom stayed out of it.....therefore not becoming the BAD GUY.....or evil step mom. She made a very good choice!!! Saved her H's daughter a lot of trauma and emotional problems growing up.

She is now in graduate school getting her P.H.D in phycology......and 23 yrs. old!!! She is my Step-sister, WE ARE ALL very proud of her and I am also proud of my MOTHER for being a wonderful, supportive step-mother.

Anyhow, hope this helps???
Blessings,
Atruheart <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I agree with the others, just back away from that battle. You can easily make yourself the enemy here if you insert your opinion into the mix.

Thanks for your posts, everyone!!

There is an update to yesterday's post. My H's M is an attorney in the state the paperwork was filed. It seems exactly as ATH said, the ex (who knew this and how crazy is this???) has a right to requisition my salary and assets for CS simply because we're married.

RH - Yes, H is pursuing retaining a good attorney, plus I may have access to legal counsel here at work. I wrote him an email to day saying "For richer or for poorer..." but I said she won't receive one dime of my salary, assets, etc.

ATH - It's hard not to get involved now that my salary and assets are at stake. BTW, I have a BA in Psych so good for her.

ML - I agree. My goal is to keep peace as much as possible, but I refuse to let XW take advantage of the situation.

For all, we have even considered (and I'm not joking here) filing for divorce if need be to protect us from her. What a strange world we live in!

Just in case this doesn't make sense to the reader, I make significantly more in salary than H, doesn't bother me, and have more from an assets standpoint then he does, which puts me at much greater risk.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">how crazy is this???</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not crazy at all. My H was able to stay unemployed for a couple of years and then take a job far below what he is qualified for, pay child support at the lesser rate, and avoid contributing to college - because he has NO housing or utility expenses. The OW also bought him a huge fancy car. According to the law, one of the goals of child support is to make sure that the children's standard of living is no lower than that of the parent who is financially better off - whether due to his own income or because he is living off someone else.

Nellie, thanks for that in under those circumstances, the law makes sense.

However, in this case the XW is a physician, hardly able to claim hardship I should think.

Plus my point earlier, she has this year filed for bankruptcy, which proves she can not handle her finances.

My strong (admittedly biased) opinion is that throwing more money at her situation won't help her.

Thanks for your thoughts though, and I do agree with you on the point that the children should never be made to suffer. Believe me, C are NOT suffering. They are flying across the country this summer for vacation, visiting relatives and going to various camps. Again, hardly a case for hardship.

We'll see what happens - I'll give you all an update after 6/8 when we know more. Again thanks everyone for your insights.

WW