I thought I'd share a situation that I've rather gotten over, but I wanted your takes.

Someone in my family has been less than supportive of my husband's and my remarriage. It's truly hard to figure out. She never wanted us to reconcile, and I can't figure out why.

This lady is quite a bit younger than me, and I've known my husband for almost as long as she's been alive.

She'd tell me how great my husband was, but she never wanted us back together.

She even called right before we remarried, with her 'concerns' that we'd be hurt. I told her, "I appreciate your concern, but we're very happy and know what we're doing."

Oddly enough, she and my brother entertained my husband a lot when we were apart, and she entertained me separately. She was the one in my family who kept up a relationship with my husband...no one else did.

She and my brother are seemingly happy in their lives.

I haven't really done anything since the day she 'warned' me about the remarriage on the phone. I've been nice, but our relationship has dimmed to almost nothing. She doesn't seem to want to see me happy.

By the way, her dad was married twice and her mom was married four times. Perhaps she wants others to wallow in the misery she's had to endure. Ironically, on the surface she acts like the divorce of her parents was no big deal.

Any ideas on why she would be so negative, and any suggestions on how to deal with her?

For now I'm merely polite, but I don't extend myself at all to her. She's a bit rude in my presence, and seems disinterested in our lives.

I'll never figure out people, really, I won't.

The sad part is I thought we were close and had a 'real' relationship. It seemed when I didn't 'do' what she wanted (stay divorced) she didn't want anything to do with me.

Thanks for listening!

Take care,
HP

sorry, not a bit of advice in there was there? What you need here is a bit of diplomacy, which is far from my strong suit. I'm blunt to a fault. A family trait. I wouldn't have the same problem in my family as I would have looked the person in the eye and asked "So what exactly IS up your butt anyhoo?" by this point. There's not alot of unresolved conflict in my family. We make up for that by having lots of conflict to resolve <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I'm sure a level-headed OT will be along in a minute to drop some wisdom.

Hi H_P,

Read your other post to pepper and glad to hear all is going so well. As for this person, who knows what her problem is. But, it is HER problem. I know it hurts when someone you thought was sincere and a friend seemingly changes, but it doesn't appear you have done anything to warrant her treatment of you. If you can take the possible drawbacks of confronting her about it, (in a loving way) as in: " I really miss our friendship, is there something wrong? I'd like to talk about it." Then if she can't be honest with herself or you at least you will know that you have done all you can. She may be having problems in her own relationship and is jealous that you have something she wants (a good relationship) I wouldn't however discount the notion that she may have some interest in your H, something to be careful of, and if true a very good reason to keep her at arms length. But, I am more apt to believe it is just something she has built up in her mind that by not taking her advice you've betrayed her in some way, or something like that, like I said who knows, only her. Anyhow, just my 2 cents.

Must say I had the same thought as cellophane. If there was a secret fantasy, it's best for her to kill it herself. Time will replace it with some reality or other.