One of the problems that I am grappling with is that right now I don't like my WH. He had an A because of (and I quote him) "my ego". He was impotent and used viagra to conduct an A with a much younger woman because of his ego. I find that I still love him dearly but at times don't like him at all. Do others feel the same way as me?

Enid

Yes, I used to love my husband but not like him. Now I've grown to not love him either. The opposite of love is not hate...it's indifference. That's how I feel now.

That's rather sad. I hope that I don't reach that stage. I am hoping to learn to like my husband again. He used to be my best friend but I no longer look at him as my best friend anymore because in my book you don't cheat on your best friend. You treat your best friend with the greatest care you can. I have always treated him with the greatest care that I could.

Enid

Yes I agree you should Love your best Friend, Im a WS, and yes some men do have problems "impotency". But this is not the end, in reagards to the "EGO" that has to go theirs no room for this in a Good M.

Their are alternative simple solutions to many dificult problem dont loose hope their are better days to come.

Please give mor abckground to see how i can help.

FCalunga

WS(37)
BS(38)
M17
3 kids
DD 12/7/03
In Recovery Room and doing Good.

Most definitely. I DO NOT LIKE MY WH. He has been mean, has been dishonest, spent time with another woman's child when he should have been spending time with his own, he told me he didn't love me, I had no ambition, he beat his heart saying "I can't help what I'm feeling" etc etc etc. All the time, I thought he was depressed due to health and money problems and made so many excuses for him. I never would have believed it possible that he could have done this to me and so, I DO NOT LIKE HIM. The big question for me is Do I love him? I am really not sure.

I don't like the person my W has become, but this is not the same person I married. As long as she stay's the way she is now I will not like that person. If she ever turns back into the person I know and love then yes I can love her again.

I still love my husband, and I'm not sure that I like him anymore. I know deep down he is a good person, he is just lost in the OW malipulating web. I just don't like his actions and what he is doing to us and our marriage.

This is not the man I married. I couldn't believe how much he has hurt me, and the fact he didn't want to work on our marriage and be with the OW instead, was like putting a knife in my heart.

The OW may have my husband physically, but since he beaten down, she won't have the sweet, devoted family and god loving man I married. He is still my husband but I lost my best friend.

I don't like the person he has become, and it scares me he is willing to throw away all his values for a woman who interested in one thing: his parents money.

"Can you love someone who you don't like?"

Certainly ....

I love my son .... but right now I neither like him much nor do I trust him to make right decisions...

So, in my opinion, the answer to your questions is

yes...

Pep

Enid, I thought you were reading my mind! That's exactly how I feel, and my scenario is similar. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

FCalunga, thank you for your interest. I have posted my story under "In Recovery" but in a nutshell. I have been married to my WH for 38 years and about 18 years ago he became impotent. This played heavily on his mind and he became very depressed. I tried to console him but obviously I wasn't very successful. As soon as viagra became available on the market he started what was to be a four year A with a girl young enough to be his daughter. I only found out by accident in December so it has been five months for me in "recovery" now. He swears that there is no contact anymore but I don't know what to believe as he lied for four years without blinking an eyelash. As for the depression, it worsened while he was having the affair to the point where he was considering suicide. He now tells me that he is not at all depressed since the A has ended. No, he isn't depressed any longer, I'm now the one suffering from depression and on anti-depressants. I think that's is why at the moment I don't like him very much, he is going on with his life like nothing happened and I feel like the bottom has fallen out of my life.

Nothing in life has prepared me for the heartache this A has caused me. I feel that it is something I will never be able to get over.

Enid