This is an old post by the now famous spider slayer. I thought I would repost it for all those who missed it.


Member
Member # 33017

posted February 08, 2004 09:13 AM
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This is a helpful analogy that follows MB principles, that I read in a book. I used it in one of my posts, and a member thought I should also post it here, to share with more people. I hope you all find it as helpful as I do.

As quoted in a book the counselor at my church recommended called "Love Life for Every Married Couple" by Ed Wheat (which even has a chapter on how to make your marriage work when you are the only one who wants it to work), I have to fly using my instrument panel. Meaning, I can't see what is going on, it is dark and stormy, and the only way I can get where I want to go is to watch my instruments (stick to my plan, read my books, make myself happy, seek guidance from God) and not concentrate on what is going on outside the airplane, because it is confusing and disorienting and will cause me to crash if I focus on it.

So all of you out there, even though what you are doing is going against every instinct you have, even though it seems like your plane is going down in flames, don't believe any of that. Watch your instruments - make your plan and stick to it - and you will be safe and sound. Definately safer than your WS right now, because they are so lost in the fog, they cannot even see their instrument panel! You will have to fly right for both of you.

Please go to your library and check out the above book. I'm sure I didn't do that great analogy justice. That is just the jist of the idea. Take care all and stay postitive and pray!

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But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Believer, it took me a long time to learn this but it is very true. In a Rudyard Kipling poem called "If", there is a line that says "if you can keep your head, when all about you are losing theirs, you are a man my son". I have been actually questioned by a friend why do I go to MC and IC. In other words why don't you give up? You cannot get distracted from the plan. And lately I really feel I am being rewarded for my perseverance. Thanks for this reminder to stay the course.

You know, after re-reading that post, I didn't do the book justice. For all those who feel lost and confused, that is a very good book, written by a Christian author, that has an excellent chapter on how to save your marriage, even if you are the only one who thinks it should be saved.

And the principles are so close to the MB plan. Do not LB, Plan A your butt off, etc.

It is so hard to be the only one believing in something, the only one standing up for what you believe in. It is so easy to love someone when you know they are loving you back, and so difficult when you don't know if you will ever receive that back.

Have faith all. These plans do work. This system works. It just takes time time time.

SS

SS, happy anniversary and recovery to you and your H.

I always want to find out your experience of Plan A. I am doing it so hard, but I even don't know whether I need to keep going instead of Plan B. Lots of advice to go to Plan B. But I really am scared of it.

What is the name of the book?

lostnhurt - Go to search and put in spider slayers member number and you can go back and read the whole story. SS did an excellent Plan A, and her WH was completely fogged out - worse than yours. (Sorry Mr. Spiderslayer, we love you too)

Believer, when are you leaving? Will you fly or drive? Have a safe trip and a lot of fun. Keep us posted.