Thanks Susan, I am heartbroken. But not a fraction of the heartbreak that that poor, dear man feels tonight.

I really appreciate what a true friend your are Mel

a friend I could trust to tell me things I need to know about my life

a friend who would not massage my ego while I was choosing to walk a path leading to destruction

Mel = my hero today

Pep

I too am impressed Melody...I am learning so much through your convictions...I am striving to be equally as courageous...What you did was right...And it has proven that you are a friend to Jen...I hope that she sees that one day...You are a friend to her marriage and family and THAT is a TRUE FRIEND!!!

Mrs. W

P.S. Mr. W wants me to add his KUDOS too!(He's in "his" chair...you know men and their chairs-LOL)

I'm glad Rob now knows about the new problem in his marriage. He deserved to know about the new betrayal and he has a God-given right to make decisions based on the renewed adultery. Thanks Mel. It was hard, but it was the right thing to do.

Well, Melody, that takes care of that. I'm relieved.

Yes, Rob knows. As soon as I heard the phone this morning I knew it would be one of you.

Yes, we are having a terrible time right now. Pio, if you think that I get excitement from hurting other people you couldn't be more wrong.

Yes, we need to make some decisions. So far, we haven't been able to talk because we are having people around for dinner, which means cooking and cleaning. We don't want to disclose to them right now what it is going on so we're going to put on a face till they are gone. Also our son is here and we can't really talk with him here.

Mel, if you hadn't done it I'd have kept drinking myself to death. The drinking again was giving me away anyway.

I'm agreeing with Pep and Susan on this. I have strong hunch some of Jen's 'friends' knew how to contact Rob, but they didn't do it.

Instead they just kept 'supporting her with love' whatever that is supposed to mean- wait, I know. It means 'let her trash her marriage again while we chit chat like nothing ever happened'

Yeah, I know you are going to come on here and say "we were telling her in private." Good. What did that do for new people on here? Or what did it to for a WS who is lurking hoping for someone to show them the way out of their situation?

Because everyone was 'suppoting with love' we were really having a bad case of double standards here. The 2x4s for most folks are here in full sight- but for a favored 'friend' the 2x4s are in private.

I think what Mel did took a lot of courage. What is really sad is that someone besides Jen had to do it.

Hang in there, Jen. At least the truth is out. Prayers and blessings to you and your family.

I wish someone like Mel would have called me and told me that my then-H had renewed contact after we had reconciled.

Unfortunately, I had to hear it from the OW 7 years later. I can't say I would have divorced him, who knows. But I certainly would have wanted to know so I could base my decisions on truth as opposed to lies and manipulation.

When I think about how he begged and pleaded and promised for recovery and then to have contact, which included sex BTW, what a manipulative sham.

Jo

Just out of interest...how do you go about finding the phone no of someone in a foreign country whose last name you don't know?

Is there something you aren't telling us about your profession, ML?
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If you wanted to get involved, you could have called Kiwi (Jen) and told her if she didn't tell Rob TONIGHT, you would call her husband tomorrow. That would have been SO MUCH BETTER for Rob's wife to be the one to tell him about this renewed contact with OM instead of a STRANGER on an Internet forum.

Because OBVIOUSLY SHE was NOT going to. She's had two full weeks, at least.

Jen, I do hope everything works out. He is a dear man who has been through ******. I am worried about your H and would like to get him the phone # of a male contact on MB since he doesn't want to be on the computer.

I am not surprised to hear that you are drinking more. Consciences can be a pesky thing.

Please give Rob a big hug for all of us and tell him that many of are thinking of him and praying for both of you.

Let's see, Grace. . . she posted 2 weeks ago tomorrow she had renewed contact- would you like to go count how many posts there were telling her she should tell?

After 2 weeks and all those posts it was pretty evident she wasn't going to do that.

I sent an e-mail to Mel one day from my work e-mail which has my last name. I knew that's how she found me.

Anyway, I'm certainly not spending any more time on here right now.

Horrible thing to say. ML, I am sooo damn proud of you. You are truly a good soul and I will pray for this man to recover from his W's betrayal. You should be commended for being so brave as to do what is right.

And yes, you are right... you could not walk in ML shoes... because with that attitude... you don't come close to filling them.

Thank you Mel. I will tell him that.

how dare you? If she had told her husband, then there would be no need for me to do it, now would there? And it would have been completely stupid to forewarn Jen because she could have told him anything. It doesn't matter from WHOM the truth comes, just as long as the victim is made aware.

Jen, I know you must feel some relief. And I'm so sorry for the pain Rob is feeling - I've lived it. I'm praying for your both. Now healing can begin. Be kind and loving to one another.

Jo

I just feel sick. So does he.