Well, I followed my heart and did what I think was right in the end. I told my boyfriend and he didn't take it well, which is to be expected. He broke up with me but he let me stay at his house for the night. He treated me with some kindness, made me dinner, rubbed cream on my back, comforted me, danced with me and then I we slept together cuddled. I even gave him oral pleasure. I know everything is not back to normal, but he treated me very cold this morning and shut off his cell phone on our way to work. He said some hurtful things, which I do deserve. I don't know what to do or how to get him to talk with me more and try and heal his pain. Time I guess? Should I back off? He said he can still be friends and hang out with me but right now he doesn't know if he could have a relationship with me. Then why did he show so much affection and love last night? I don't know what he's feeling or thinking. Can anyone who has been cheated on before give me some advice on what he is feeling and what he wants me to do?

Honest,

I wish I could tell you what to do or what to expect, but you telling him the truth show's great character, pride and just how much you care about your BF. I think time is the answer, he's going to need it to get his head back together, remember he's just been hit by a Truck. I wish my W would have been honest with me, I think that was the part that hurt the most. Her not being honest. I had to find out through my own investigating, but I digress. Just give your BF some time and see where that leads and don't love bust him I'm sure your aware of the pricipals of this sight? There will be more here with sounder advice and remember the weekends are slow on these board. I wish you all the luck with you and your BF.

Dear IWTBH,

Could have been to prove to himself that he can still be good in bed??? That it isn't him~~his sexual performance, But YOU. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Since he knows that he can satisfy.....or that you are so willing to satisfy.....He may have reconciled in his head that he doesn't need the rest! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Most who are not Married I think can more readily move on.

Unfortunetly you may have destroyed your relationship for good. A's (cheating in your case since your not M) are hard enough to get over when you have a home, kids, years invested! But when it's a GF or BF I think there is a lot less to lose in most peoples minds and therefore it's much easier to go find a person who holds the same values you do.

Sorry if this hurts you. I do not like to do that. Truth is that A's or (cheating as in BF/GF) ruin possibilities for a FUTURE in most cases.

It would with me. That's for SURE.

Blessings,
Atruheart

IWTBH,

Im sorry I forget to say to you "Good for you for telling the truth"!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Honesty IS the best policy! it shows great charecture to be able to come clean!

We just don't always get the reactions we want with the truth!
It is sometimes too hard to swallow (as they say)

Blessings,
Atruheart
p.s let us know how it goes the next few days! may be he will be willing to work on it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Just give your BF some time and see where that leads and don't love bust him I'm sure your aware of the pricipals of this sight? WHAT YOU MEAN DON'T OVER-LOVE HIM? PLEASE EXPLAIN

THANK YOU FOR THE TRUTH.

Yes, this is all hard to swallow and not sure what to do next. I miss him and love him so much..I know things can't go back to the same right away, but I hope he will forgive me and be with me one day again. I have hurt him so much and I don't deserve him but I feel that I can prove to him that we are meant to be together and that I will not make that mistake again and that I'm so sorry. I was high, and I am sure that is the only reason why I did it. Thanks for your support.

I would just try to be his friend and wish him well. In the meantime, you might want to do something about your drug problem. That's pretty damn bad when you can't control your behavior.

Most men won't want anything serious to do with a woman who gets high and hops into bed with other men.

IWTBH,

It's possible your BF was so close with you last night because he's grieving and missing what he's lost - a clean, faithful GF. Kind of like the veiwing at a wake. One last look, you know?

Now, just because he FEELS like his world has just ended doesn't mean it HAS.

I definitely wouldn't back off. That would send the message that you don't want to be close to him, that he's not needed. His ego has taken a huge blow. Backing off would just underscore the negative dialogue that is going through his head right now.

The best thing you can do is demonstrate through your actions that you are serious about getting past the addicition and the unfaithful behavior.

Get yourself into a 12-step program immediately.
Always let your BF know where you are.
Think of what led to the entire situation - getting high, being unfathful... how did you allow yourself to get into that type of situation, knowing you were at risk? Then TAKE ACTION to prevent that from occurring in the future.

It could be, but I think it's because he loves me so much. I put myself in the position to just talk to this guy about some past issues, and I ended up asking if he still got high, hoping he would say no, or I'm not going to with you because you get crazy with it and overindulge..but he didn't and said okay, let's get high. In my heart I knew he was going to, but I didn't think I would cheat on my boyfriend. I felt I did it because he manipulated me into giving him some kind of physical contact in order for me to do more and more drugs. Once I am high and jones for more, I do anythiung just about. I feel so guilty and I don't know how to convince my boyfriend that he can trust me and I am going to get help and would never do that to him again. MY boyfriend says you have said you weren't going to get high again and I did. I quit in November of 2003, but then relapsed in April once, and he forgave me. Then I did it again with this guy this past weekend. I guess I have to give him time. I just don't know if I should keep calling my boyfriend when he is ignoring my calls today, or just give him room to breath? He said he would hang out with me and party as friends, but nothing intimate or won't go back out with me until he knows what he wants. If anyone has any words of encouragement, please advise. I need it so badly today.

how did you allow yourself to get into that type of situation, knowing you were at risk?

Read the basic concept's here and it will tell you all about Love Busting, plus it's all very good information to have. So read it all.