HELLO ... I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE IN AWILE BUT NEED SOME ADVISE. A LITTLE BACKGROUND.. MY H HAD 2 EA'S WITH MARRIED WOMEN W/CHILDREN OVER THE NET AND BOTH OW WHERE OLD HS SWEETHEARTS SO TO SPEAK .THEY SHARED INTIMATE MOMENTS WITH IM AND THRU EMAILS AT WORK AND AT HOME WHILE I SLEPT ,THEY ALSO SHARED INTIMATE PHOTOS OF THEMSELVES. H ALSO HAD A PROFILE ON A MATCHMAKERS SITE. HE DID MAKE PLANS TO MEET WITH ONE OF THE OW BUT WAS 'FOUND OUT' IN A WAY AND UNABLE TO FOLLOW THRU WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT.


ANYWAYS IT'S BEEN SINCE DEC25TH 2002 OVER A YEAR.
NOT SURE WHERE WE ARE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP ,THOUGHT WE WHERE IN RECOVERY.. BUT NOW NOT SO SURE . HE NEVER SENT A NC LETTER HE JUST STOPPED EMAILING THEM AND ERASED ALL EMAILS AND CANCELLED HIS EMAIL ACCOUNT IMMEDIATLY WITHOUT LETTING ME VIEW ANYTHING .

HE SAYS HE NEVER HAD SEX WITH ANY SO IT REALLY WASN'T AN AFFAIR SO NO REASON TO SEND ANYTHING LIKE THAT BESIDES HE STOPPED CONTACT ANYWAY WHY START UP CONTACT ANYWAY.. SAID HE LOVES ME HAS ALWAYS LOVED ME AND WILL NEVER LEAVE ME . HE DOES ADMIT HE HURT ME DEEPLY AND WAS WRONG FOR DOING WHAT HE DID AFTER MANY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS ,TEARS ,DEPRESSION AND MEDICATION AND COUNSELING FOR ME . H SAYS HE IS SORRY THAT HE HURT ME SO DEEPLY AND HE NEVER WANTED TO HURT ME. HE DID GO TO A FEW MC SESSIONS BUT HATED IT AND STOPPED GOING SO I WENT TO IC. HAVE SINCED STOPPED .

OK SO NOW MY DILEMMA ... WE DON'T SEEM TO MAKE 'LOVE' ANYMORE WE HAVE 'SEX' IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. WE HARDLY EVER HAVE SEX ANYMORE WITHOUT ADDED GEAR...AHH HMM TOYS... NOTHING VIOLENT .JUST SOMETHING TO SPICE IT UP HE SAYS.

SO I GUESS I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE OR HOW TO REACT. DON'T GET ME WRONG SPICE IS OK BUT EVERYTIME?? I AM WONDERING NOW IF MAYBE HE IS A SEX ADDICT AND IF THAT WAS WHAT HIS EA'S WHERE ALL ABOUT.

I NEVER TOLD THE OW'S HUSBANDS WHAT THEY WHERE UP TOO. SOMETIMES I WANT TO TELL THEM AND SOMETIMES I WANT TO CONFRONT THE OW.. I KNOW FOR A FACT HE HAS HAD NC WITH ONE BUT NOT SO SURE ABOUT THE 2ND ONE. HAS IT BEEN TO LONG FOR ANYTHING LIKE THAT OR WOULD IT BE JUST BEING VIDICTIVE?? I AM SO NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE...


SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT ONE MORE THING DOES THE HURT EVER GO AWAY AND DO THE QUESTIONS EVER STOP HAUNTING US????????

I know this is very hard and I am sorry for the pain this is bringing you. I just went through a 3 week period after finding out H did not end his internet affair as he confessed his love to me and acted like we were blissfully happy...more info in thread Calgon take me away....He did have an affair for real 9 yrs ago and I thought we had recovered from that and moved on...but now I find out that is not so....that brings me to where we are today...I feel my H is a relationship maybe sex addict Although he has not had a history of porn or cheating non stop He uses does it as an acting out pay me back for not meeting his needs...Because the last 3 weeks were so hard on me when I gave all I had to meeting his en and sn and we were having such a wonderful time and he still made the choice to betray me not once but twice He has been moved to the couch He is not sleeping with me anymore My choice. He is going to get help before I ever risked my emotional state again Sex addicts/relationship addicts need alot of tough love I believe. I had never told my H I was going to see an attorney I had never made told any one the *secret* but this time I sought help right away and I will not back down He is going to earn his way back into a relationship with me I think you might need to set some boundaries Never do anything in the bedroom that you are not comfortable with. I gave 100% and since he wasnt doing the same he is in the position he is in Not because of something I did. He is on the couch because he is not trustworthy to be in our bed. I am not his prostitute and he will not treat me as one. I know this is really tough to get through but you can do it!!! Eliza