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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 234
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 234 |
posted by ML in a thread about a BH being mad at OM but not his wife "Another reason he would be more angry at the OM is because the OM has not asked his forgiveness and apologized like you have. On the other hand, you have done all of things so he is trying his best to forgive you."
I have said that same thing. The OW is not only not sorry for what she did, she said that I deserve every bad thing that ever happens to me! This isn't directed at ML specifically, I have heard from many of you that I am angry at the wrong person. That OW shouldn't even enter my mind. Why is it understandable for a BH to be angry at the OP but not a BW?
I am angry at both of them, but I don't hate my H. I hate her with every cell in my body!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I think your anger is very justified, toomanylies. How you could possibly NOT be angry at her? That makes no sense. It is a righteous anger to be angry at gross INJUSTICE.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
However, where does the double standard lie? I don't get that part. I have never said you shouldn't be angry at the OP, so you can't accuse me of double standards.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 234
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 234 |
that's why I said I wasn't specifically directing this at you. I really don't remember who said what, but I have been told my anger is misdirected.
I'm sorry it was your post I used for this. It just struck me when I read it that it does seem like many people understand anger at OM but not so much OW, as if she were somehow more innocent, almost victimized (not so much on this site, but I have seen that on others)
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380 |
I know of one person who said that the OW wasn't at fault,he lead her on, but who it is is irrelevant.
Anyone who thinks that an OP isn't to blame for 50% of the pain they cause needs to tighten the screws a bit.I am just as mad at my WH's homewrecker too TML.So don't feel badly,your anger toward that OW is justified and normal.
O
P.S. I really like that song by Dido that is eluded to at the end of your posts BUT it's the WS that should be singing it to you.
<small>[ May 30, 2004, 05:18 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 234
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Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 234 |
"P.S. I really like that song by Dido that is eluded to at the end of your posts BUT it's the WS that should be singing it to you." I wish! he downloaded tons of romantic songs while he was having the A, actually just after it ended. He claims they had nothing to do with her but pretty much any song that had the words "I'm gonna miss you" was on there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I'm his wife, I guess he doesn't have to try that hard with me.
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