My husband went to see OW last week. She lives 10 hours away. They have only seen each other in person four times this year but they have daily phone contact. Usually one to four hours per night. He moved to his sisters house the beginning of Oct. Saying he needed time to himself and time to work on his book. Since moving he has been so cold and mean with me.

I am living at our house raising our son. And also his 9 year old son from a previous marriage lives with me. I don't think it's a good idea to take him away from his stable home from now. I am pregnant with our daughter due in 3 weeks.

He comes home on the weekends to see the kids. Since seeing the OW last week when he came home this weekend he has been so mean. We went to the movies yesterday and I put my hand on his and he jerked away, I tried to hug him he pushed me away and said stop, he pretty much has been giving me the silent treatment and for the first time he slept on the couch last night. He still insists that him and Ow have not had sex because it would not be right to her and me.

He said he wants a divorce because that would be the best for everyone involved. Said that I shouldn't hold on to someone that doesn't want me. Said he no longer feels anything but caring for my well being for me. That it's not about OW. It's about his unhappiness. That she has nothing to do with it.

I figured he is acting this way this weekend because he cannot call OW like he usually does. He pretty much is taking it out on me. Figures if he treats me bad enough I will give up on him. I don't know. It really hurts to be rejected. I am to the point where I do not want him to come here on the weekends if he is going to treat me like this.

Do they ever come out of the withdrawl and deep fog?

Dreaming,

Yes they often do come out of this type of deep fog and denial, but rarely when they are still steeped in the affair as your WH seems to be.

Perhaps Plan B will give you some peace. Your love for WH will soon be gone. Perhaps you need to protect that now by going into Plan B and then concentrating on your two sons and the coming baby.

It is so sad to see how many WS push the BS to this point. If you've been around long enough to see so many of the WSs come back, begging forgiveness, it makes you shake your head. Why couldn't they "get it" sooner, when less damage would be done? I think the answer in many cases is that they just have to lose everything they have in order to feel any loss at all.

Hugs to you....

~ Snow

I am leaning towards plan B each day. I guess I am afraid of it. I know it will be hard for me not to talk to him and stuff. I did want him to be there for me in the delivery room but now I am even doubting that.

I just don't know anymore. I hate the way he is treating me. I still love him but I wonder why I allow him to do this to me.

Bump <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

As for having him in the delivery room... give it a few days. I think the primary consideration would be how you would feel if he were there. Would it be a painful distraction to you? Do you think he would do/say something stupid that would add more ache to your already burdened heart?

Go with your gut on this one. If having him there will help you and you think it might be a wake up call for him, ask him to be there. If not, don't ruin the moment of your child's birth. You have a right to enjoy that moment as you would like.

Hugs.

~ Snow