Wife is being treated for depression. She told me in April that her Dr. lowered her dosages. In late May she revealed she realized our relationship was hopeless. During the last two months she began an EA with a man on the internet. He wants her to visit him for ... (sex) She even gave him our cellphone # and had talked to him regularly. I discovered this after she said our marriage was hopeless. She says he has nothing to do with it. She may have somewhat of a point on our marriage failings, but he certainly contributed to her refusing to work it out. She is all over the place from one minute to the next.

I am thinking her med change may also have contributed to her feelings. I am uncomfortable with this, but am thinking of calling her Dr. and telling her what is happening.

Advice please.

<small>[ July 17, 2004, 09:27 AM: Message edited by: 1Tin Man ]</small>

Absolutly, call her Dr and explain whats been going on. It may well be that since her meds have been lowered they are no longer theraputic. She may infact need a compleat adjustment to her medication including changing what she is on now to a diff med.
I am bipolar and know the importance of keeping on top of medication, last april my meds were not working and I had a psycotic episode on account of it. My doc upped my meds, I now take 3000mg valproate daily.
Please don't ignore this, you wife may not be telling all to her doc and what she don't know she can't medicate for.

Call the doctor for everyones sake before your wife does something she may well regret.

mtheart.

Ask your wife to go to counseling and to give the marriage another try.

Start meeting all of her needs today.

cwmac

1FamilyMan, I am not trying to burst your balloon here, but I would only point out that all that behavior is classic behavior of someone who is in an affair, depressed or not. We hear the same things here every day. A person who is in an affair convinces themselves that the marriage was "hopeless" in order to justify the affair. They rewrite history. We see it all the time.

So while it might be helpful to look into this as a solution to her increased depression [which is also very typical of an affair] I wouldn't look to this as the reason she is saying these things or feels this way. At best, her depression might be increased, but that is just as likely to stem from the affair.

Melody, thank you. Yes I agree with you. I was just wondering if the meds might be contributing to her feelings. It all happened at the same time.

What meds is she on and how long has she been on them?

topomax? I think. For several years

I would seriously talk to her Dr, if she has been taking the same meds for that amount of time, I would doubt that they are having much affect. Often you body bets immune to them and that is why the dr will need to start her on something new. I went through quite a few coctails before they found that valproate worked for me, but as has happened in the past after approx 12 months they need to be changed.
I too believe your wife is in an affair, but your ? as to could the meds be contributing to the prob.....yes they can. If they are not working for her she can not get the benefit. She has been depressed for several years yet this EA started when her meds were lowered. Ring the doc, my family went through hell with me because my meds were not working.