Hello,
I will need to get home to pay bills either Thursday or Friday at lunch. Please let me know which day works best for you. Don't know if you got my email from Friday with school getting out. Did you go to the doctor? Did you do your 28 week sonogram? Any pics? How is everything going with Peyton? Is he still kicking hard? 3rd Tri-mester is here!! : )
WH
Saw Collective Soul over the weekend...pretty good.
Take care....

I am getting my own account so I will be sending him his bills this week. This makes me so angry that he acts like we are friends. Telling me he went to see a band (collective soul). I almost care. What is his problem?

he is just being so manipulative and so disrespectful of you and the plan B. you go girl and don't let him get "in." it's amazing how some people just don't get it, that you don't want to talk to them unless it's over w/the OP and they want to rebuild the M. he is just trying to make himself feel better. but because you are here durham you know better. hang in there, prayers to you, RR

Beam him up, Scotty!

durham, in another post you mentioned that he gets info from your mother or MIL?

Why is this happening?

Can you request that this source of info to him be shutdown?

WAT

I am really close with my MIL. She is like a second mom to me which makes this very difficult. I don't know what I can say to her when she asks. She has been involved in my pregnancy thus far and originally was coming to stay with us after the baby was born. She asked me all of the same questions he asked and I just told her in a couple of weeks I will have another sono. I didn't tell her the exact date. She will probably ask me who is going with me.

OK, that makes sense. But does she understand what you're trying to accomplish with Plan B?

Dear Durham,

WAT speaks of the Spirit of Plan B. You seem frustrated that H does not get what Plan B is about.

Technically, it would be a violation of Plan B to tell H to get with the spirit of Plan B. So use your best judgement, but here is what comes to my mind:

Dear H,

I request that you not send me E-mails inquiring about your son, or otherwise contact me unnecessarily. This is your time to be without me, and to decide when, if ever, you are going to stop contact with OW, and take such other steps as are necesary to rebuild our shattered marriage. Please follow the spirit of my request, for no unnecessary contact, until you have resolved your issues with OW. Please follow the same self-discipline of no-contact with me, that I am requesting you follow with OW. I am feeling harrassed by your repeatedly contacting me unnecessarily, when I have requested that you stop.

You may run this by your lawyer, as there may be grounds for a protective order, preventing H from coming near you, by H's repeated unwelcomed contacts. Did you ask your lawyer about alienation of affection?

There may be a section of your Plan B letter that says the same thing, that you could send a highlighted section of the Plan B letter to him.

Blessings

durham -

Your WH sounds just like mine. I have been telling mine that I will not discuss our relationship until he has NC with OW. But he still constantly tries.

I think they believe they can wear us down. Hang in there and stick with your plan.

Durham -- My H, too, tries to do the "pals" routine. It is his way of making believe nothing very important has happened, that it is no big deal.

It's frustrating, especially as they position you as being the "unreasonable" one. Don't know how to stop it -- I guess we can't try, really. Just stay true to yourself. Stick to your guns.

Dear Durham,

Two furhter thoughts come to mind. One is that your attorney could write the letter to H, something like,

Dear H,

You have been informed that all unnecessary contact with W is unwelcome. Your contact with W inquiring about the health of your son has continued, and is annoying to W. If there is medical info you need, please contact me. If there is any medical info of any grave urgency, W will contact you directly, or through me. Please stop this harrassing contact with W.

But also the question of custody comes to mind. What does your attorney say about custody? The fetus is close to being viable. If born pre-maturely, your son would probably survive, if not now, certainly within a few weeks. Once your son is born, either parent can remove the child to some other location or state, in the absence of a custody order.

It sounds like you do not feel that H is trustworthy, yet you have not filed for legal custody of your son.

If you have legal custody, then H's questions about your son's health may be better able to be ignored.

Blessings

durham - Whaler has a good point - one that others of us have raised in one form or another with you in the past - what legal steps are you taking with your attorney?

You are separated, but you are not protected legally by a separation agreement, if these are used in your local government jurisdiction.

Are you on top of this, or do you need help?

Also, do you need help picking out names? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WAT

NAGGING QUESTION I HAVE EACH TIME I READ YOUR POSTS....


WHY are you still reading his e-mails if you are committed to an impeccible Plan B?

Of course, KaylaAndy is right.

Can't you pass a message thru your intermediary to tell H to stop trying to initiate communication with you???

He/she should say, "durham has no interest in hearing from you whatsoever until you are willing to comply with the requests she made in her letter of (date). You are causing her pain. Please leave her alone."

WAT

couple of things,
durham please continue to stay dark.

the letter whatler suggested that your lawyer send is something that can be done. although a laywer would never say "annoying" but would probably say something like "unnecessary." also a lawyer wouldn't say "please stop this harassing contact w/W." but would probably say something like all unnecsarry contact must cease or cease contact until guidelines are met. just FYI.

I also like the message WAT suggested your intermediary send but i would probably even just stop w/"comply w/the requests." don't say he's cauasing you pain and to please leave you alone. he know's he's hurting you but doesn't care and is too wrapped up in himself to do anything about it. by saying please leave you alone to me sounds like your letting him know he's getting to you.

but we can say please here, so durham please stop reading the emails, change your email account, delete them before you read them, or send them for screening to your intermediary.

not sure what to say about the MIL situation but i would probably say that you need to be guarded w/what you tell her and involve her in. but that's JMO.

continued prayers to you, RR