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Hi Folks, My WH just sent me an e-mail that he "NEEDS to see me this weekend".He wants to do yardwork with the girls and that it's for US not for him.Oh and he said Please too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Should I? I already know that he hasn't ended the A yet but maybe he is trying/working his way back to us or am I on a fog??Lol Should I just say refer back to Plan B expectations? I was on my way to a D so I wasn't really in Plan B anymore but I don't know if I can afford to "let him in" now. O
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O I wish I could give you some advice but I'm having a bad thinking about what my W did to me day and anything I would have to say would be negitive. Sorry for the slight vent, I don't know what plan your in, but after reading Ethan's and turtlehead's post to you I'm going to agree with them.
You like that I answer a question with a question. Hope your having a better day then I am.
<small>[ June 02, 2004, 03:23 PM: Message edited by: The Tinman ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I don't know if I can afford to "let him in" now.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't let him in.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I already know that he hasn't ended the A yet but maybe he is trying/working his way back to us or am I on a fog?? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't know the specifics of your PBL. So I will do the best I can.
I would simply ask, is the A still ongoing? It is a Black or White answer. No gray. D or no D.
If the A is still active: I'll see you when it's over.
If it's "over": Make WH provide you with verifiable proof of such (NC letter) and ensure he meets stipulations of PBL.
Wasn't that easy?
That's my .02
Ethan
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Ditto Ethan.
edited to remove insane gibberish that was a weak stab at what Ethan said better than I.
<small>[ June 02, 2004, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: turtlehead ]</small>
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Yeah I knew that would be the answer.
I feel like I could do this weekend with him and be ok.It wouldn't stop me from moving toward a D though.I have been at this for 8 months,going on 9 and I am almost numb/immune.
Any takes on that plan?
O
<small>[ June 02, 2004, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>
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O,
If you're certain that D is where you're headed and what you want, and that you would never consider reconciliation, then truthfully I see no harm in letting him around this weekend.
If you are going to D, the two of you need to learn to relate to one another as co-parents without having that include the role of spouse.
So, if you're doing it in hopes of reconciliation, I'd say no. If you're doing it to begin your training as D'd co-parents, I'd say yes.
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Hi TH,
No,I would not spend time with my WH to be better co-parents.I can parent completely well without him and he knows I don't want to and cannot remain friends if we D.So I guess the jig is up.lol
I suppose I'll have to bow out of any family plans this weekend because even though I wouldn't stop proceeding with a D unless the A was over, and I know it's not,I still have the fantasy of everything working out in the end,like most of us do.ugh
Thanks for the reminder folks.
o
<small>[ June 02, 2004, 03:47 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>
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Hi Octobergirl, I think you should let WH spend the time doing the yard and seeing your kids. You will reap the benefits from his hard work. You, on the other hand, should escape. Get out, have some fun. Let him see you no longer need him and you are moving forward. Do you have anyone you could stay with for a night?
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october - I like tummytuck's idea. Invite him over to do yard work and spend time with the girls. Then ask him if he can watch them til Sunday afternoon. Then go somewhere.
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Dont do it. Dont meet with WH.
You will only hurt yourself and get disappointed again. If you do not plan to be friends with WH even after D then i think you should do plan B while doing plan D until you feel ready to forgive WH.
It has been 9 months since Dday for me too. I am going to keep hanging on. My deadline is end of July. I will keep going if i can handle it even after the deadline. I am doing okay in plan B. Keeping dark gives me strength to go on. Each time i break plan B i end up wanting to D the idiot so plan B is good for me.
I hope you will be okay. Do take care of yourself and go back to plan B again if you have to.
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I also concur with tummytuck..
I loooove drama...
especially mystery....
always leave em wanting more....
Ok I am evil...
ARK
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I´d go with tummy tuck on this one too. Say its fine, he can come over.
Great! that he wants to spend time with the kids. Wonderful! Because you were planning to go out anyway. The kids are going to be thrilled that its dad that will be looking after them, and they can spend some good old quality time together.
That will blow his mind away!
-queen-
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Is getting some yard work done worth the risk that he might see the possibility of not having to choose between you and OW?
Conditions for return need to be clear that contact with OW is over or no contact. Let him waffle away from you.
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Hi Ladies,
I think I am going to do a "Believer" and let WH come over to so dome yardwork,be with the girls and then I will spend time with my mom away from home mostly.I am going to see his parents on Sunday,they are coming by to spend time with us because it's their 40th(Ruby) Anniversary so I do want to be here for that and see them and hope that WH realizes what an anniversary like that means.He may not but it also may stir some feelings within him.My In-Laws are still very much on "my side" so I feel good about them being here.
I really feel like I will be ok and if I am not,I can escape to my moms.This weekend isn't going to change my proceedings toward a D.I know that he has not ended the A so I am not going to change my plans unless he ended it.No worries.
O
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