(Originally posted on the Recovery Board, but some MBers suggested I also post here on GQ)

I am the BS. My WH has asked me to post this message for him.

My WH has broken things off with OW. They were coworkers…she is transferring to an office in a different state by the end of the month. It has been over three weeks since he broke things off with her. He has been staying with a friend. I have said that he cannot come home until he institutes and maintains NC. He wants to come home and work on reconciliation but has found that putting NC in place is very difficult. Though I miss him and want him home, I am firm on this boundary (you see, we had one false recovery already…he convinced me that they could still see each other at work and he would be strong enough…but that didn’t work).

WH feels like he cannot talk to anyone about what he is going through. None of his friends understand. Talking to a counselor is expensive (though he does attend IC once a week and we did have a few sessions with Jennifer). He does not want to talk to me about OW, NC and withdrawal as he does not want to say things that hurt me. He really needs to talk to someone who has been where he has been. I told him to post on this message board but he is uncomfortable with that. He wants someone who he can connect with on a personal level who can offer him regular support (via email or phone). He has said that MB compares the A to an addiction…well just like alcoholics have sponsors, he wishes he had one too. I know this is a lot to ask from anyone, but would any WSs out there be willing to talk with my WH. This would require someone who really cared and felt like they could mentor my WH…someone who has been a WS but has a fully recovered marriage and feels they could guide WH out of the fog.

I don't know if I have the right to ask this of anyone here. But I feel like my WH and I are so close to being back on track…He wants this marriage to work so badly and does love me very much…he just didn’t know it would be so hard. Is there anyone out there who would be willing to help?

Thanks,
Shocked

PS - If you want additional details on our situation or want to talk with me, let me know.

If your WH gets a MB "sponsor" ... be sure it's a male.

Otherwise... too risky.

Pep

Besides risky, ineffective. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If he wants someone to correspond with, he can email me. I'm at expert at NC--I did it four times.

My email is sluggers@excite.com

<small>[ June 03, 2004, 04:23 PM: Message edited by: Jimmy Mac ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by everlong:
<strong> Besides risky, ineffective. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

You are so cute.

Email me sometime... let me know what's shakin.

Pep

:hand raised:

Well, it's not like my marriage is going all that great, but if your H wants to exchange some emails, I'd be happy to oblige.

I've been the WS, BS, read SAA and have been MBing since 1999. I've made almost all the mistakes and could probably help him (if he wants help) or just be an ear (if that's what he wants) but before you slip him my name, let him know that I'm very pro-marriage and (except for my W) not much of an enabler.

My email: dewt2003@hotmail.com
My IRL name: John (so much for my carefully guarded anonymity)

dewt

of course i can't offer that help but just wanted to say that i have thought this would be a great help to people here and was surprised that it wasn't talked about more. i'm glad you found the courage to ask as well as your H the courage to ask (even if it was through you). i'm so hopeful for the two of you and hope that some day that my H will even at least consider giving me another chance, even though i was the one that was faithful. prayers to you.

This is Arabesque's husband (a FWS). Normally, I'm just a lurker on this board but I had to reply to this. Your husband's situation sounds very similar to that of me and my FOW. The OW who was in my life was also employeed at the same company and I faced the same challenges. I would be absolutly delighted to assist your husband in any way I can. BTW, I am 100% out of the fog and have been for a couple of months now. FOW is currently under a court injunction to not attempt contact with me in any way shape or form.

I can be reached at kinther@wi.rr.com I check my email accounts daily and if he contacts me, I will reply back within 12-24 hours.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their replies. I will pass along these responses to my WH and hopefully he will follow through and take you guys up on your very generous offers to help him. I know I really appreciate them. There are some amazing people on this board and I happy to know all of you. Thanks for your support.