I was getting ready to leave today when H showed up to pick up a few things. I know he did it on purpose. It was so strange since I have had only business contact with him since he moved out 6 weeks ago. I was so shocked and had no idea. He said we are going to need to talk about our son. I said yes. He said are you going to let me know when. I said yes. He then stated he would be getting an apartment as right now he lives with a friend 45 minutes away and doesn't like the drive. What do I do know. I cried after he left as it was very hard to see him. I think plan B is fine but eventually I am going to have to deal with him because of my baby. Please help. I don't know if plan B is right. I felt really good but when I saw him it all came back. Any advice???

Your H really is the turd of the day for me.

Sorry....

He has no intention of honoring anything you request right now..

disgusting! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Pep

Oh Gosh.....

Sorry to say "I agree with Pep"... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hang in there....

Blessings,
Atruheart

" He said we are going to need to talk about our son. I said yes. He said are you going to let me know when. I said yes. "

Call your attorney ... let your attorney "talk" to you H. Settle all baby issues ONLY through the attorney.

You need to be protected from WH's callous indifference to your request he not see you because it upsets you.

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by durham76:
I was getting ready to leave today when H showed up to pick up a few things. I know he did it on purpose. It was so strange since I have had only business contact with him since he moved out 6 weeks ago. I was so shocked and had no idea. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh Durham, I wish you knew the babble language that Orchid is so good at. I'll give it a try, but I'm just not as talented as she is.

Alien says: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">we are going to need to talk about our son. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Durham says: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">then be silent. Let the wormy alien squirm to explain how he is in any way qualified to be a husband and father right now.

Of course, the best "Plan B" answer would instead be:
Durham says: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Have you ended contact with OW?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Alien responds: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">alien babble and excuses and rationalization and hurtful crap to get you to acquiesse in tears.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Durham, in Plan B then responds, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Then I guess you'll have to talk with my lawyer to find out anything about the baby or me. I love you, but I will not endure more hurt. Read the Plan B letter I have sent you and demonstrate you want a relationship with me by respecting my wishes. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Here's another try at babbling back:
Alien says, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> we are going to need to talk about our son. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Durham babbles back, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm confused. We?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Better Plan B Durham responds: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Have you ended contact with the OW?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Alien responds: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">alien babble and excuses and rationalization and hurtful crap to get you to acquiesse in tears.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Durham, in Plan B then responds, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Then I guess you'll have to talk with my lawyer to find out anything about the baby or me. I love you, but I will not endure more hurt. Read the Plan B letter I have sent you and demonstrate you want a relationship with me by respecting my wishes. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Repeat the question "Have you ended contact and made plans to rehab our marriage?" Otherwise, we have nothing to talk about that can't be said through my attorney.

Durham, he's trying to seize control. I just want to smack him - in fact, my ulcer is dancing a flamingo right now, wishing it could tap dance stomp on his head!!!

ditto ditto ditto

Everything Kayla said.

We know it's hard to think on your feet like that.

I suggest you ask your intermediary to pass along this message: "Please do not attempt to contact durham again. Re-read the letter. Until you end your affair with OW, there will be no talk of anything other through her lawyer."

Contact your lawyer tomorrow. Have him spell out your H's responsibilities and rights regarding the baby.

WAT

yes, i know a little how it feels to be unprepared for things. however, set up an appointment w/your lawyer ASAP and discuss things more in detail and print out the post kaylaandy posted and memorize it that way if this happens again (in person or phone, etc.) then you will know what to say. also if you say talk to your lawyer then you got to have talked to your lawyer about this in the first place. hence the need to talk to your lawyer ASAP, no more [censored] footing around w/it.

prayers to you, RR

H is playing hardball. After I left and refused to talk to him he sent me an email stating he would not be paying the bills and that he knew how much was in our joint account. I just withdrew the money I saved and put it in an individaul account.
So I had to call him and discuss everything. He stated over and over that we would need to talk about visitation with our son. He stated he saw an attorney for his rights. I don't know if I believe him because I said what are your rights and he said well we need to discuss everything. We need to talk about it. No court would hear the case if we didn't talk about it. We have to do medication. He is doesn't know what he is talking about. Our attorneys will fight it out.
After I made him feel like crap stating nice that he gets everything he wants and I told him I am dealing with getting child care, raising a child on my own, delivering a baby on my own and that talking to him is not my first priority. He stated he would just have to be patient. He seemed agreeable to everything if I just talked to him about it. Custody and he will pay bills.
Here is the question my IC brought up: Should I get started with the D while he is agreeable to my visitation requests because after the baby is born he may be more attached and fight it??

durham -

You are doing very well. When WH comes around, learn to talk the same fogtalk he does.

It goes like this:

WH: Sooner or later we have to talk about the baby.

Durham: Yes we do. The baby is coming. I am so sorry that our relationship is like it is. But the baby will come, and I am going to take care of him and me.

WH: Well, it seems like you are trying to shut me out.

Durham: WH - I have always loved you and am not shutting you out. You have made the choice to be with OW. So to preserve my love for you, please do not contact me.

Talk to your attorney about this stuff. If your state recognizes legal separations, that could spell out the rules. You are right though, the fog works both ways and while he's agreeable, nail it down.

But do not talk to him!

Reiterate that your position is clearly spelled out in the Plan B letter and that's where you stand. HE HAS THE POWER AND OPPORTUNITY TO END ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's his call. He has his fate in his own hands. Please get your intermediary or your attorney to communicate thus!

WAT

Durham - It must not be a good day for us Pregnant BS's. I don't have any advise to give as I am right now deciding if Plan B is the way to go. But just hang in there, I'll be thinking of you. I hope you have some fun plans to get you through the weekend. I'm heading to FL to cry my eyes out with the girls.

Take care.