Hi. To the many who've helped me with your thoughts and advice (and remember me), I wanted to give an update.

To summarize, two major things have happened since my last post. My wife has deeply expressed her love for me in dozens of ways. (Her cards, her words, her willingness to compromise, her expression of pain over what happened, her text messages, and more.) My eyes are wide open to just how much she cares for me and how lucky I am to have such a wonderfully devoted woman.

The second is that I've lost the majority of interest I had in my coworker.

I can't explain it. It's as if all the desire and longing were switched "off."

I am performing much better in both jobs. I can think about my future with my wife again. It's like I'm waking up from a long sleep.

The coworker keeps trying to start things with me again and I am trying to turn her off to me.

Her recent schtick was saying she wanted to pull my tie. (That's so dumb.) I'd been trying to brush off her statements, but last night I said "Only my wife can do that." Later, I continued: "Why don't you go pull Mr. [Single Instructor]'s tie?" And finally (albeit, delivered tongue-in-cheek): "You should consider seeking professional help for your compulsion." She said I was "mean" and she liked me better last term. I actually probably didn't sound as mean when I said it as it sounds here, but I think I succeeded in discouraging her. I also ignored her second attempt to talk to me that night.

Anyway, I still don't trust myself. So I'm looking for ways to solidify this progress. I also want to focus some time on making my wife feel loved by me.

Wow, this whole thing has been so miserable. I thank God to be where I am right now. I feel a great debt of love to my wife.

I feel a great debt of gratitude to every one of your who took time to kick me in the teeth, give a hopeful word, say a prayer, or give a thought to me.

I'm trying my best to give a little back here when I get chances.

Thanks,

Jg

jg:

Congra2lations! You may have just circumvented what might have been a traumatic period in your life.

Keep up the good, vigilant work, and you'll do fine.

"Her recent schtick was saying she wanted to pull my tie."

You wear a tie?... Oh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Now that's what I'm talkin about....

John forge ahead in a new union with your wife..
her refusal to meet your social needs is HUGE...
she needs to walk the walk as well as talk the talk....

ark

john, great news!!! i am very happy for you and your wife. all the best!!!

Good job john!!

Keep up the good work!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks a lot!

You were all there for me and I value that tremendously.

It's time to excavate and build within my marriage. And I'm very excited about it.

Thanks again.

God bless,

Jg

Things are going great with my W.

I shut out the OW.

So now why do I care when she connects with another male instructor and tries to make me jealous?

Instead of leaving at her usual time of 8 on Friday nights, I saw her leaving at 11... talking to another male instructor on the way out. I know she went to this guy because I was shutting her out and I have a strong suspicion she was planning on me seeing her staying way late at work talking to this guy.

I know I shouldn't care, but I do.

I'm going to stay the course, I just hate the fact that I care about this.

Guys, I'm proud that I've done the right thing and shut this co-worker out for two weeks. I just needed to vent this.

Whenever I get close to my wife I don't care about this at all... so I think I know what to do this weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


Jg

2long...do you have a "tie" fettish too!!!

John G...I am proud of you too!! One of the smartest comments you made was regarding "not trusting yourself completely". Stay on your guard, that's a good place to be!!

John G - I wanted to thank you for your post. It is good to hear someone going in the right direction and reassuring for me and others, I am sure, as it gives us hope that things CAN turnaround.
My WH is seeing a coworker. It is that she is a coworker that most disturbs me . . . other than of course, the A. I can see that being extremely difficult for you and in my case, my WH.
But knowing there are WS's out there that do eventually see the light gives me great hope.
Stay the course, the twinge of feeling something I imagine will lesson as you regain strength in your marriage.
Thank YOU for sharing your thoughts.

You are very welcome, Whitefeather.

People helped me so much here, I always wish I could give something back. I never know how. It's good to know my story gives some hope.

I feel like running through my neighborhood yelling in jubilant triumph now that that gross, double-minded fog is almost totally gone. I see a universe of exquisite delicate beauty in my wife. A universe takes a long time to explore. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> There's no time for any other woman.

Ephesians 4:8 says when Jesus ascended on high he took captivity captive and gave gifts unto men. I know God gifted me with this clarity and I want to do right by Him.

May God richly bless you and your marriage. Don't give up hope. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jg