Ok, so today was my WW and my first counseling session. Counselor is a local psychologist who came highly recommended from friends.

Well, we went over, very tactfully, why we where there and explained my WW's two PAs in the last year or so, talked about her alcohol issues and what we've tried to do so far to work this out.

I don't know how it happened, but I came out of this first meeting absolutely livid! I haven't been this pissed off about the whole situation in a long time. The Dr. mentioned that he felt there had been something missing in the marriage which would cause my wife's affairs...Ok, well, while my doctoral degree isn't in psych, I kinda could have figured that one out on my own... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Anyone else feel the same after their first session? It's kinda like digging all the anger, hurt and pain up again after I've started dealing with it.

-C-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cruiser:
<strong>
Anyone else feel the same after their first session? It's kinda like digging all the anger, hurt and pain up again after I've started dealing with it.

-C- </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you sure you actually dealt with the anger, hurt, and pain, or did you just find a way to push it aside for now?

It would seem to me that if you really had dealt with it, then it would take more than an hour to bring it all back (unless of course it was hour in which you found out about another fair or lie).

I hope your future sessions go better.

April

You said, "It's kinda like digging all the anger, hurt and pain up again after I've started dealing with it."

Sounds like you have some issues to deal with...MC helps you have conversations with your W about this stuff.

The reason you left angry is probably because it took all the time with the MC to just set up what is going on and you didn't have time to work through any problems. It will improve--be patient.

It will get better. My husband is the one who had the affair and after our first session I left totally pissed to. But I also came to realize, though I thought I had been dealing with my feelings, the hurt, anger, etc. I found out that I was just dealing with the hurt. My husband and I still going to counseling but I am also going by myself to figure out how to deal with all this. It's overwhelming and mind boggling to say the least.

D-Day for me was on 4/14/04 and I am still trying to figure out how to deal with all these emotions. But I promise, the sessions get easier and I highly recommend going by your self also.

Good luck to you and your wife!

from a "medical" standpoint (i'm a nurse) and from someone who's been in counseling before and now again. it's really hard to judge how a counselor is the first session or judge how future sessions will be. the first session is really a get to know you (part of that will bring up anger and emotions), what's your story, what's your goal, some intial questions, and then the time is up. give it another try. but ultimately sometimes don't mesh well w/their counselor and you have to chose another one. not saying that' the case only to not discouraged, it's common.

of course the best counselor of all is God, he's always available, free, and always right. prayers to you, RR