Hi...I've been posting on the JFO board...and I'm firmly entrenched (enslaved?) in plan A. However, I was talking to a good friend of mine (she is single, but involved in a serious relationship) about my situation....after describing plan A and plan B to her (as best as I understand them), she wondered if anyone had tried a "modified plan B"...particularly with children involved....the idea is to still stay under one roof, but essentially be aloof from each other--ie the "no contact". The children would not experience the separation, and the parents would "get a break from each other" (my friend's words, not mine).

I have my doubts, based on what I have read here, but it did make me wonder if anyone out there had tried any modifications to plan B....and what the outcome was (again, I have serious doubts about this approach, and I am not even considering plan B at this time...but I was curious about your reactions). Thanks!

It doesn't work because the point of Plan B is to A) protect the BS from the daily destruction of the affair and faciliate a WITHDRAWAL from the WS, and B} to show the WS that her needs can't possibly be met by the OP.

If you are living together, it could achieve neither purpose and the affair could go on forever. Even listening to a voicemail from the WS can set the BS back DAYS in recovery and send them into a depression. Being "aloof" is really a lovebuster and is not the same as no contact, btw.

Lots of people go into Plan B just fine with children. Its much better for the children to have BOTH parents in a committed marriage sans AFFAIR, and Plan B is often the BEST METHOD to acheive this. So, in the long run, Plan B is much better for the kids than living with estranged parents, one of which who is having an affair.

<small>[ June 04, 2004, 05:06 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>