Well things have not improved a whole lot around here. I've been talking to WW more, trying to meet her EN, but the only subject that comes to my mind is us. I asked her the other night if she wants to be married. She said that we've been over this before...

She just doesn't see us being married...and I'm beginning to come around to her point of view. Both of our love tanks are empty, and we have been living like roommates for a long time now. Still in the same bed, but SF has stopped. I still find her attractive, but she told me that she doesn't find me sexually attractive. That was an ego boost for me.

I find myself thinking more and more about being single. I have lost a lot of respect for WW. One of the main reasons I fell for her was her moral values. Her family was devastated when her dad had multiple A's. Those are the two reasons I thought something like this would never happen. Now that it has I begin to wonder if she is the woman I love. The body is the same, but the spirit isn't.

I keep thinking about D. If we did, I don't think she would want support (which I would fight tooth and nail if she did). It would be a, if you can call it that, pleasant D. We have already talked some about separating the assets. Who would get which dog. I can't help but think that if we did D I would be so much better off financially.

Is it really worth the effort to try to win someone back, when if I would have met her when I was single and her current situation was the same I wouldn't have even looked twice at her? I hope that makes sense.

Thinking about it makes you wonder if life is worth the effort. Don't worry I'm going to do something that stupid...I'm past that phase. But, just to betrayed like that is beyond words. I know that many people on this board have so many more problems.

My M wasn't bad, I think. I'm easy going, never angry. A good provider. A considerate lover <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (that's is what my WW said). I just never thought it would happen to us. I was raised to not believe in D. When a man and woman are M they are one flesh. Now she has gone and severed that bond.

Well, I've been rambling and not really saying much or coming to a conclusion. I'm used to taking the easy way out of things. I don't like conflict, it's just not in my personality. The easiest road I can see to travel is D. Cut all ties, communication, move...Start from scratch. How can you learn trust anyone ever again? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I just can't help but think that there has got to be someone better out there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

There is some faulty thinking to that premise, though, Dorban. The fact is, D will not be the "easy" way out. It will be just as hard to start your life over, and you will still have to do the HARD, VERY HARD work of healing yourself.

I, too, am very convicted about the vow of marriage. I was willing to stick around until death do us part. And while I do feel dead inside, I am still here, kickin.

I think you should take a step back from the constant, ever present thoughts about your messed up marriage, and take some time to assess the health of Dorban's soul. Because, let's face it, it is the only thing you can and MUST do to have a healthy relationship one day, whether it is with your WW or someone new.

JMVHO.