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Faithful Elisabeth, The site is: www.gloryb.comBut don't go there unless you haven't eaten lunch. I just spent the last half hour over there reading again and the OM/OW Only portion of the board is the worst. And,I didn't learn anything new and am still just as disgusted. O
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<small>[ July 11, 2004, 01:37 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>
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Sorry to bump this up to the top by my reply, but yes, I have visited this site.
I was very disturbed to read some of the comments that the OW's have toward their lover's wives.
Either they feel that we don't exist, or that we're something to be disposed of. I guess the hurt that we go through when finding out our spouse has cheated on us doesn't matter?
Well, if the OW can convince the man to divorce his wife and marry her, and he ends up cheating on her, she'll find out how it feels, won't she?
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HUGE hugs to my old friend (((Resiliant))) HEY, dont blame her! it was all MY fault! and a HUGE high 5 to the mods here, for not locking this thread!~ I LIKE IT! PAIN SUCKS, and its all around, hugs, c
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i don't know why i'm posting really...i always get flamed here when i do.
but i'm reading this thread and i just have to add my two cents.
just as sickening as it is reading a thread on TOW about what an OW would like to do to a BW, it's just as sickening to come here and read about a BW wishing the OW's baby would die.
then why am i here???
to learn.
do i think all BS's are evil? no.
have i learned by reading here? yes.
people go through many emotional phases during this situation. these boards are a place where we can go to express what we're going through.
just because ten OW want to terrorize the BW doesn't mean we all do...and it doesn't mean that these OW are always thinking these things. we have emotions and that is our place to express it when these emotions arise.
a BW here posted that she wanted her H's OW to miscarry. it was brought up on our board and the women there thought it was disgusting. i too think the *statement* is disgusting, however, this woman is driven by emotion. i'll bet my last penny that under normal circumstances this BW would not wish death upon a baby. she's hurting and she's angry, with every right to be. THIS is her place to express those emotions.
we're not all crazy bunny boilers.
neither are you.
we're just at opposite ends of the situation.
and just like you, we are lied to.
many BW's read and post at TOW. we appreciate the majority of them for giving their insight.
i think it would be nice (flame away) if we could all just understand that we are driven by emotion right now. everyone has evil thoughts, anyone who's taken psychology 101 knows this, but we need to recognize these thoughts and deal with them so they do not become something we act upon (insert Glenn Close icon).
all three parties are confused in this process...all three parties hurt, all three parties have anger, all three parties are bitter, all three parties are sad....
this isn't *who* we are, as people, these are *phases* that we go through....and we express that on TOW and on MB.
i, along with other xOW, am thankful that both sites exist...and i know there are a lot of BS's who feel the same. these boards can help everyone involved heal and move on....because we are all learning from each other.
that's all...i'll go back into hiding now.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LoveMyEx: <strong> Meremortal, I totally hear you. And agree. Lots of good insights in your post. I think that website is a "sign of the times." What I mean by that is that the internet is so unmoderated. Kids can go online and find out how to make a bomb and kill other kids at their school. Anyone can access free pornography very easily. People can have affairs via the net. You can read profanity, etc. on the net. Etc. Morals aren't very moderated on the net, which is sad. If they were, that TOW site would not exist. I think I actually first went there awhile back when someone mentioned it. I was flabbergasted that such a place existed and I beleive I wrote an email to the creator of the site sharing my disgust as politely as possible (if that's possible!). I wish there was something I could do to get rid of a site like that. I wish there was more I could do in the fight for the family... one that many people fight... not just BS's and those in troubled families, but even those in healthy families. The breakdown of the family unit affects all of society in umeasurable ways and the impact of infidelity can extend through generations. But more and more, our society is desensitized to things that once were appalling and totally unacceptable. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As I posted @ TOW There are far worse sites for marriages out there than this one (TOW)... have you looked at the ones I mentioned in my earlier post? Here they are again in case you missed it: www.adultfriendfinder.comwww.meetawife.netwww.ashleymadison.comwww.philanderers.comwww.aspd.netThose sites help people get into affairs (and worse!) - If you'd really look around at all the messages here @ TOW, you'd see that there are many many instances where TOW members are trying to help people get out of affairs. Those other sites do far more damage to marriages than this one (TOW).
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on the side lines said...
we're just at opposite ends of the situation.
all three parties are confused in this process...all three parties hurt, all three parties have anger, all three parties are bitter, all three parties are sad....
true enough...but only two of three involved...(more when if children are involved..)
CHOSE the situation..
onto some it is thrust...
ARK
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Yes, I was there today and liked it - helped me in a way... Not that I don't know that there are different kinds of OWs, but... it kind of confirmed my opinion - my X cheating is HIS fault not hers even she contributed to it big time! Cause, OW usually don't know us, never loved us, and, why would she care if she hurt us so unknown (not talking about moral now... anyway, what's moral nowadays anyway???) So, no OW is guilty for our pain but our spouse who we gave love, devotion, kids, family, Home... And I'll go again there, maybe even post... </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by betrayed by 2: These women & men believe that they found "true love"?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't forget, so some WSs think the same. Actually, didn't WSs 'convinced' them to think so?? </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't know why I even went to it - stupid I know! But they actually are coming to this site & going back to that filth & saying that we (BS) are angry & un-christian-like. They think Plan B is the best thing - gives them are WSs. Quoting Harley as a fool.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why? What did you learn you didn't know already?? Also, aren't we (BSs) angry?? And OWs are too once they see that 'our' WS cheated them too as well! Un-christian-like? Do we ever forgive them??? </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I feel like crying and I feel like a DDay has occurred. People actually enjoying being a OW. Oh why did I go there?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It isn't so bad to face the TRUTH... about what kind of women OUR spouse chose to be with... It'll always be women like that, who don't care if they make their "happines" on someone else's unhappiness... also those that are stupid and naive to believe WS's lies... and those ones who feel guilty and break up A... And the burden of guilt will never ever be bigger than the one on our WS's part!
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Going to TOW and trying to "educate" is a waste of time. You can't communicate with the dead-people who are dead to the truth.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I understand and I agree - no communication with the dead-people who are dead to the truth.
Then, why we try to stay married with WSs who CHOSE to be with those " (&$#&#)$& " ones???????
Aren't they the same than?
I mean... I really don't get it... the way you are looking at OPs but not at your own WSs...
Sorry, this was talk from my heart... never ever defending neither OW or A, but moreover the main and maybe the only cause of our pain - our WS's doings.....
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Sorry my post look like flood, but I read responses after I write my opinion, if I feel to reply to them... </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cciyer: I also went to the site (could not resist!)...and honestly just felt empty. Not angry (although I am the BS)...their lives just seem very empty....kind of like mine right now.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Exactly how I felt. Some stories reminded me of kinds of women I already knew existing (wh....), and some of them were stupid to believe as I was with my XWS... and some of them even honest... but, in the essence, unhappy, miserable and bitter as we BSs are... And the main cause (WS) stays protected by both sides, wanted, fought for... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I just got wish that OPs and BSs unite and kick them out with no return to any other woman/man EVER... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <small>[ June 10, 2004, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: Belonging to Nowhere ]</small>
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I stumbled upon philanderers.com when I was searching for articles on philanderers and it was awful-- I can't imagine why anyone would wanna help others to lie, cheat and be sly-- like it is a wonderful thing. That site, I wanna flame. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
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"Going to TOW and trying to "educate" is a waste of time. You can't communicate with the dead-people who are dead to the truth."
education is a relative term. the TRUTH, is not. SEEKING the truth, is education. TOW ain't all that bad folks.
kudos to the mods here (and there) for not kneejerking. hugs ,c
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Oh yes, some of you BW's would find some of Onthesidelines earlier posts very eye opening. She has taken great pleasure in the fact she got pregnant while MM and his W were having fertility issues. She rubbed it in at great length that wifey couldn't do it for her H but she could. Yeah, they are really nice people over there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> PS - ARK, The situation was very much forced upon the W of OTSL's MM. <small>[ June 10, 2004, 10:05 AM: Message edited by: findingmywayback ]</small>
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Originally posted by OnTheSidelines:
i think it would be nice (flame away) if we could all just understand that we are driven by emotion right now. everyone has evil thoughts, anyone who's taken psychology 101 knows this, but we need to recognize these thoughts and deal with them so they do not become something we act upon (insert Glenn Close icon).
I wonder....
if you would ever considered commiting yourself to a purpose / principled driven life?
Emotionally driven lives are often run into the ditch.
Pep
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Originally posted by findingmywayback: Oh yes, some of you BW's would find some of Onthesidelines earlier posts very eye opening. She has taken great pleasure in the fact she got pregnant while MM and his W were having fertility issues. She rubbed it in at great length that wifey couldn't do it for her H but she could. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YIKES! That's an ugly story. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
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It's all there in black and white for anyone who wants to do the research.
I don't really think a lot of them understand the full magnitude of the hurt and devestation they cause, or they just plain don't care.
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In my opinion,it is very simple.
The SECOND that a woman or a man knows that a person they are about to be involved with is MARRIED,they should walk away and no longer be involved,ever.Whether this happens right away as it did in my case(WH told HW that the was married) or if it happens 8 months down the road.The solution is the same.
I don't care if these OP/WS's are emotionally involved.Until we start making it a crime or close to that by people getting involved with married people,this trend will continue and they will make a mockery of marriage,which is what many men and women apsire to have.If we all just did what we wanted with a blatant disregard for other's peoples feelings and families,etc then why do we develop a conscience or why do we have rules and vows and boundaries??
Some may say that it's not that easy and I agree BUT it is necessary.Some hard decisions in life are NOT easy and even hurt.Adultery is a case study in right versus wrong.Plain and simple.So to know that there is a website(TOW) that allows OP's to discuss and support adultery is appalling.
I do appreciate the few at TOW that have stood up for us at MB and why this website exists but until OP's get real and stop the bad behavior,many more hearts are going to be broken over and over.And yes,this applies to our WS's too.They are as much to blame as the OP IMO but we as BS's have a marriage with them and families and much more at stake.I cannot think of anyone here that blames the OP SOLELY for the A.If there is then that's simply not true.
So with all due respect,ahem,I don't appreciate a TOW member(s) coming here to explain their reasoning for such decisions in causing pain and destruction in our marriages and families.
O
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"So with all due respect,ahem,I don't appreciate a TOW member(s) coming here to explain their reasoning for such decisions in causing pain and destruction in our marriages and families."
Agreed. Marriage Builders is a SUPPORT forum, meant to provide suggestions, advice and support for those attempting to rebuild & recovery their marriages!!
However, they don't appreciate our presence on their board either. The TOW forum is their SAFE place. PLEASE do not go to their forum intending to "enlighten, inform, instruct, guide, condemn" etc....
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