Linda's H,
Ok, I am glad you are are realizing this. I know it sounds as if I am talking you out of doing everything you can to rebuild your marriage and show Linda that you are sincere. But, I also think you are starting to realize that this needs to be a long term thing, so it is important that you can go the long term and that means being the H you need to be and that Linda needs as well.
So here is the question, do you have a plan? Do you know her needs? Have the two of you discussed your plan if you have one yet? Have the two of you discussed what she might need to feel safe in this marriage?
Linda's H I would strongly recommend that you do some counseling with the Harleys. There approach is more one of "coaching" that of just talking about things. They are very plan oriented. Also you might want to check out another lady that used to post here a lot, named Cerri, you can find her old posts in the Just Found Out section and thus her website addresss. She has been trained by the Harley's and knows her stuff. She was once a WS as well as a BS, so she has seen both sides of the street so to speak.
Linda's H really consider setting up a plan of how you want to approach things and then bring Linda into this and POJA the plan. Make it something you can do and commit to, not just something that will sway her on the short term.
I realize your short term goal is to bring her back into the marriage and hopefully forgive you, but I think while your goals should include this, it really must focus on a different and better marriage than you had before. I would say it is clear from your A's that the marriage was NOT meeting your needs, and if you and Linda talk you will probably find that she wasn't as happy in the marriage as you might of suspected.
The goal here is to do much better than that. To make it something that makes you BOTH happy. So get to planning Linda's H. You can do this and I think as you work with Linda on this and talk with her about this, and as you do what you say you will do, she will come around and Yes she can learn to trust you again. She wants to be married to someone she can trust, so be that someone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
God Bless,
JL
