I was betrayed by my sister, but I think that's the closest you can get to a best friend. She was someone I saw all the time, went out with, talked imtimately with, etc.
She is denying the whole affair between my H and her. She is saying he's making everything up and she doesn't know why. I don't know why my H would make up something like that either with such gory details.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I'm having trouble deciding what to do here. How do I find out who's lying? Should I even try? Any help please!!!!!!!

lcg,
There are many MBers in your situation although I'm not one of them.

What proof do you have? Just H's confession. Cell records? Reciepts? PI? Voice recordings?

cwmac

I don't have any proof. Just H's confession. But, she claims to be a virgin and he says he knows for sure she is not, because they had sex all the time, and that's the only proof he has. Should I ask her to go see an ob/gyn to prove the truth? She says she's had a pap smear before and thinks that she could've lost her virginity that way. Isn't that absurd? Or is she telling the truth? I FEEL like she's lying, but we can't prove it.

Well, I just found out that there is a possiblity a speculum can break a hymen, so I guess I'm screwed there. I don't know any other way to find out the truth except for a lie detecter test. It's so expensive though. Any ideas from anyone on how to find out the truth?

Why would your husband tell you he had an affair with your sister - if he didn't?? Most people won't even admit to an affair - it seems unlikely he would if it weren't true...unless he has some motive behind it???

Technically, your sister wouldn't need a pap smear if she is not sexually active and she hasn't reached the age of 40.

Pap smear screens cervical cells for abnormalities (signs of cancer, especially for those who are in their late 30s) and other inflammation and infection (no sex: clean cervix, no disease, no point to have pap smear).

How are you keeping, lcg?
I know you are in a most distressed situation. I hate being lied to, too. Have H talked about next steps in this situation?

Have you considered taking tranquilizers? I found I can think better when I'm on them... calmness clears my head somewhat. Hang in there, don't try to make any decisions till you've reach some clarity.

Right now, I refuse to take any kind of medication because I'm 8 months pregnant. Maybe afterwards, I know I have a high risk of going into postpartum depression cause of all this. But, I'm a firm believer in God getting me thru all this, so maybe I won't have to take any meds at all. Hopefully.
I don't know why H would make up something so horrible, which is why I'm siding with him more. It just seems unlogical. She has every right to lie. My mom wants to disown her, if we find out she actually did this. I don't want my mom to do that, but I can't tell her what to do.
Well, H and I are gonna have a long talk right now. I'll be back later.

Back from the long talk. It was good, lots more out in the open. Hurtful, but good. He swears he's not making this up and I really want to believe him. We'll be making an appointment to take a polygraph test tomorrow. Would he be so eager to do the test if he were lying? Or can this just be an act like everything else?

Hello Icg, I am one of those betrayed by the "best friend." She is a single mom whose son is in my H's Scout patrol.

And guess what? She denied it, too. Although very unsuccessfully. In fact, after my H let the cat out of the bag during his mental breakdown at the hospital (from the guilt), OW tried to convince him to lie to me about the A again. Good grief. Some people just cannot admit that they have been caught with their "britches down."

The power of denial is very very strong. Perhaps your sister is so mortified by her own actions that she simply cannot admit them to be true.

People's minds work in strange ways. Unless your H has shown pathalogical lying tendencies in the past for attention purposes, I cannot imagine he would put you and him through the emotions that accompany an A, especially since you are 8 months along.

That is just my 2 cents. Take care of yourself and that baby, girl!

SS

I was betrayed by my best friend- my wife.