It's been a while that I've been reading/posting here, probably several weeks, but I needed a break to think about my life. I've been doing a little catch-up reading post from Roughroad etc. I hope everyone is doing alright.

I'm feeling pretty good nowadays and eventhough my life is not perfect, probably will never be, I think that I'm trying to go my way as best as I can.

The relationship between me and my WH is strange. I don't think I will ever understand his mind and honestly I gave up trying. His relationship (EA) with OW seems to be over, but he has now started 'talking' with an old highschool friend who has problems in her marriage. They email/talk on the cellphone several times a month and she even send him a gift from a recent trip to our home and she included a gift for me. I thought it was a bit odd, but what the heck. I decided to email her and thank her for the present and I composed a nice email. I think I even mentioned that here at one time. Well, I never heard from her... I questioned my husband about it and he said that he asked her and she claims that she never GOT my email. Whatever!

It seem that my husband has a character flaw and he needs constant admiration from other women. He wants to be 'needed'. The most recent one is 11 years older than I am and by far no beauty. But it doesn't really matter, does it?

I've become pretty selfish recently. I gave up talking to family and others about our problems. Blood is always thicker than water and most likely people are not going to want to get involved and maybe there is a good reason for it... I gave up talking to him about these issue because he is only going to stop when he WANTS to stop. In the meanwhile, it's like I'm talking to the wall.

Basically, I live MY life now and it's been good. I concentrate on my good friends, I go out, have fun and I've met some really nice guys and it is a good feeling to talk with someone without all of this bullsh** going on. Sometimes my husband gets jealous and I find this rather odd behaviour from him.

I've really detached myself a lot from my husband and at this time, I don't really care anymore who is talks to or who he sees. I've decided that I'm too young to put up with this crap. Whatever happens will happen.

MY own happiness and sanity is more important than anything!

I think a lot about you guys/girls here and I hope that we can all find happiness within ourselves and our own lifes.

Love
Kati

Well, I know I am very glad to hear from you. I've actually thought of you several times as of late. Maybe you sensed that some how <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I think if you don't feel like you have any regrets then you can be happy about that. Not that you needed me to tell you that but i think you get what i mean. that's basically what we are all here trying to deal with is regret. Of course i'm speaking in general terms. The BS is trying to not do anything they would regret and then do everything so that if they look back they won't regret not doing anything. We are also trying to wake the WS up and help them come back to us before it's too late and then they will regret.

well i'm going off on a tangent. but again, i'm so glad to hear from you and thank you for keeping up w/my posts. i had a recent post on a recent exercise regimen on my thread "doing what i can for as long as i can...." if you have time read it and tell me what you think. i know you have done and are doing a super job w/keeping yourself in great shape. I hit 39lbs on 6/2/04 as the amount of weight i've lost. May was very slow but i still lost.

please continue to pop in, if you are able because you still have such a good attitude and can help others but i'm also of the mindset that we have to help ourselves a lot before we can help ourselves but also by helping others it can help us as well. hugs and prayers to you, RR