<small>[ November 06, 2004, 11:43 PM: Message edited by: cipher ]</small>

cell - what kind of business is this, and do you have reasonable suspicion to believe the higher ups will be different?

Have you exhausted all other exposure routes?

WAT

<small>[ November 06, 2004, 11:44 PM: Message edited by: cipher ]</small>

In your sig line you refer to "xWW."

Does this mean she is no longer a WW?

If she has ended the affair, there is no need for further exposure, unless she relapses.

WAT

<small>[ November 06, 2004, 11:44 PM: Message edited by: cipher ]</small>

Is OM your wife's superior in the workplace?

If so, you may have a shot at going over all the local's heads to corporate with an allegation of sexual harassment. It doesn't matter that your wife may deny any sexual harassment, but to another employee, it may appear that you need to bed the boss to get ahead. This is third party sexual harassment and some companies will aggressively go after it.

WAT

<small>[ November 06, 2004, 11:44 PM: Message edited by: cipher ]</small>

Hard to say, cell. Is this a big store chain?

If you choose to go further, I'd vote for going to corporate - depending on how big corporate is and their standing with the public. If this is Wal-Mart, for example, you might have better luck considering the trouble they're already in with allegations of discrimination and their marketing to "families." If it's a small time corporation, you might have a smaller bureaucracy to wind through, but less downside for them since the risk of bad press would be lessened, i.e., the bigger the are, the harder the fall, but "little guys" don't get as much notice.

WAT

Sorry to say you have nothing to work with here.

If he is not a direct supervisor then the company doesn't have to fear a sexual harrassment suit....the only thing that will truly motivate them.

Don't expect the company to act on moral grounds. Coporate mentality is moral grounds only matter if money is at stake.

Plus sadly the workplace is the number one breeding ground for affairs. So while all of this is new to you is commonplace for corporate America.

Understand when you go up the food chain so to speak the manager will have to go to bat for them because he did not act. Odds are he is going to say you are just an estranged spouse trying to get back at your wife.

I don't say this to be mean but you might want to start looking towards the future and some happiness instead of towards the past with all its pain and hurt.

<small>[ November 06, 2004, 11:41 PM: Message edited by: cipher ]</small>

Lurk here often but rarely, if ever post here anymore given my situation. Your post caught my eye because it related directly to the type of work I do. Does OM have any influence over WW's employment? Although he may not be her direct supervisor, if he has any influence over the terms or conditions of her employment and is giving her preferential treatment because if his relationship with her at the expense of other employees with whom he is not having a relationship, then there is a sexual harassment/discrimination issue relative to those other employees. If not, then there is nothing here harassment wise because their relationship is consensual (in other words "welcome," which is the key buzz word for harassment). BUT, that being said, depending on the company, they may take BIG exception to an affaire relationship if it even creates the appearance of impropriety. For example, one of my previous employers DID NOT like this type of situation and would geographically separate the affair partners....in one situation, they moved OW to an east coast facility and the WH to a facility on the west coast. He was an up and comer and basically killed all of that by having this affair. Interestingly, it was his wife that took it to corporate.

NOW, something you may NOT have thought of - most workplaces are now drug free workplaces and have drug programs and will do what is called "for cause" testing if they have reason to believe an employee is violating their program. In telling the employer I would also tell them the stuff about the marijuana use. The good thing is the half life for Marijuana in the system is quite long as compared go cocaine, etc.

One last thing, I would NOT bother with the store level - I would go straight to the corporate Human Resources Dept. When I was in college, I worked in a well-known national department store (one with the smallest denomination of currency in its name) and a co-worker from another department made a VERY lude comment to me. I complained and he was gone the next day. They certainly did not tolerate that type of behavior.

Hope this helps.

Brit's Brat/BS-43
XH-45
DS-almost 3
Status: Divorce final May 17, 2004, 2 years after D-Day.

Be careful. I have known WW's boss longer than she has and considered her a friend. I talked to her one day and the next thing I knew I got a letter from my attorney that said I was possibly going to be cited for Contempt of Court and that if WW lost her job I would probably have to pay her alimony. WW's boss knew about the A before I did and has aided in them in meeting under the guise of business. WW, OM, WW's boss and her husband went to a resort together during spring break. I don't want WW to lose her job, it keeps her and thus the kids close and I don't want to pay alimony, but wouldn't mind if her boss did. I am going to see if I can cause OM to lose his.

cello if the kids are at stake its a whole nother issue.

A word of caution there are some cut-throat lawyers that wouldn't hesitate to tell you to go after your wife's job on the premise that if she has no job then you are in a better position to support the kids and should be granted custody. So don't be shocked if that strategy is suggested. But please think long and hard before you follow that strategy. I was presented with that strategy as an option should I decide to divorce and seek custody of my kids.