That's what he says. He feels like he's fallen out of love with me during the last three years because of my changing personality (we had our first child over three years ago). That he really cares about me though...... all that said he has admitted to being in an EA jsut this last week. We've talked, he's cried, I've cried (but I no longer do it in front or him).... he scared that I will leave with the kids (we have 2 and one on the way) and hurts becuase he knows how much this is hurting me.

Today is the worst I've ever felted. I am sick to my stomach and my heart is racing, my body hurts and I am just soooo tired. My soul is shattered. THe man I love with all my heart, theman I want to share my life iwth until I die, doesn't know what he wants. He hasn't stated whether he will sever his emotional tie with this OW (who was a very close friend of mine......) and his co-worker. She has told her H that she wants a divorce and she doesn't want to work at it.... so that just gives her that extra umph to really really persue and take advantage of what my WH is going through.

Who out there is on the road to recovery when their S said they don't love them anymore and also had an EA or PA?

I pray today gets better.... the rain isn't helping any.

OH MY! What your going through sounds so much like my situation. I am also pregnant with our 2nd child together. Also have a 8yr old stepson who lives with us. My husband said alot of the same things. That he didn't feel anything for me anymore and that he didn't love me like a husband should. He wanted to leave back in Dec. He has stayed though but continues to call the OW on a regular basis. He has not seen her since Dec.

I hate not knowing if he loves me or if it's just the fog. I wonder everyday if he is going to leave or stay. But since Dec we have come a long way. I try to take one day at a time. Some days I see the man I fell in love with and still loves me other days I see a withdrawn man who is so confused. I have been doing Plan A and have been really trying to see what I could have done a little differently in this marriage.

I know things will work out because I have faith in God. Even if he leaves I know I will make it and I have this new little one on the way to think about most of all. I will be praying for you I know it is so hard but things do start to get better with time and hard work.

Well, I read a little of your prior posts here. Have you done any of the things suggested to you by the fellow MBers?

Do you have a counselor? For the marriage? Does your H want to work at your marriage together? Have you told your medical/obstetrical doctor about your plight?

You need support by the professionals and talking here may help, but I sure would be talking with my doctor and others who will give guidance for health and well-being. Did I hear you are carrying twins?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cardinal:
<strong> Well, I read a little of your prior posts here. Have you done any of the things suggested to you by the fellow MBers?

Do you have a counselor? For the marriage? Does your H want to work at your marriage together? Have you told your medical/obstetrical doctor about your plight?

You need support by the professionals and talking here may help, but I sure would be talking with my doctor and others who will give guidance for health and well-being. Did I hear you are carrying twins? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes I have started on Plan A wihtout any lb through it all. I have started talking with my pastor's wife. I have asked wh if he wants a divorce, he said no. He said he wants time to figure things out, but he/we both no it won't happen on his own... he needs to hand it over to God and get help. He hasn't said it in specific words, but he said he doesn't want to lose our kids and I came back with "that is reason enough for us to get started on the road to recovery but it can not ahppen until the EA is severed and over with"... but with no reply back but an "I know". I do have an appt with my ob tommorrow and I will be telling him what's going on because I need to take care of my little girl inside of me and the insonmnia, lack of appetite and stress/ anxiety isn't helping that. The EA was jsut revealed to methis weekend so the appeteite thing and sleep have just recently happened... but still- I know I need help myself(emtotional and physical) for the sake of my unborn child and our other 2 children if anything.

I can appreciate the perspective of a religious leader, but think that a professional counselor with belief is perhaps a good choice for MC. And that means we work on this marriage as H and W with a person who is not knowing us other than the problems and story that we bring to them. And the goal is to patch up this marriage. And learning by reading about the A's. Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass was a good book for my FWH to read. He felt the message of that book, even more than I imagined. And to think I was debating about paying the twenty five bucks for it!! It was worth more than that.

When you talk to Ob doc, ask about referrals to a professional with the same belief as you and H. Your H is confused with that OW. Typical, so you need to get some balance back. He wants his family, that includes you. But he can't have it if he goes to that OW. I think that the WS needs to know what the consequences are at some point. Having empathy for an OP I don't think ever helped to clip those ties.

The sooner you get help together on this, the better I think.