Hi Iamsorry,

Saw you posting a bit today and thought it might be time for an update. I noticed you posted to someone that your exH still hangs with your family and your tongue in cheek conjecture that that is their method of intervention. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

But, IAS, the issue is still on the table. Have you done any further talking or thinking about this??

I still think it is very odd that all 4 of you have been and are engaged and yet NOTHING is happening. Well, it is NOT odd if you thought it was because the BS's haven't really given up, and the WS's in this situation know they left a good situation and good people. Then ALL of this makes sense because what is holding everything in limbo is PRIDE. No one wants to blink first and admit a weakness, fault, and love. That is what I am thinking IAS. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

So what are you thinking these days? I look forward to hearing from you.

God Bless,

JL

JL,

I can't believe you even remember me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

THIS IS LONG

No one has made a move...it's wierd! I am still somewhat at the same place where I left off, however, I have gone back to church. Last I spoke to you I said maybe I needed to go to confession...well I did...for about 2 HOURS ...lol, wow, what a load off!

I am reading more on the site, researching, and just trying to find my way...I wish I could give you more...but there isn't anything else really..Work is crazy right now, so that takes up 95% of my time...fortunately, my babies (10 & 7) and I are going to the Cape (Cape Cod) for 4th of July weekend...can't wait!...they deserve it! I am still living with OM, some days it feels like I belong with him..some days it feels like "what have I done"...I'd have to get into the dynamic of our personalities to go there!

I guess, I have started posting because I am at a place where I am more comfortable opening up and wanting to share experience/feelings...so I can maybe help someone who is thinking this may be the way they are headed! Sorry for the ramble! what was your question? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

~ias


~ias

IAS,

I think you are the key to this whole thing. Your exH still has hope but will not or cannot approach you while you are with OM. OM is waiting to see if you really lose the guilt, or perhaps because he is NOT certain either about the future. His exW may well be waiting and wondering as well, but will not or can not approach him while you are with him.

So who is the one that feels that things ought to change? I am betting that someone is you.

I think you will be a good addition to this site and I hope to see you post here often, but do think about this. I really believe you are the key and everyone is waiting for you to make a decision.

Think about that. By the way, glad to hear you are going to church again.

God Bless,

JL

JL,

I am so grateful that I have you posting to me..it is like..hmmm..you put things into words that are just floating around in my head, that I don't think I have the guts to say out loud! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Although, my initial reaction is "how is she doing that"?

And I will be posting more...I know I will gain tremendously and hopefully, help somewhat. I haven't posted because my situation is not the norm (at least here) and I do not want anyone to feel like I am, in any way, saying this (my situation) is right or the way things are going to go...does that make sense?

Thanks JL

~ias

IAS,

Well I know you will help a lot around here. And I hope you don't think I am pushing you, but your situation seems to be "everyone is in a holding pattern waiting for someone to land first." Further, it seems you are not really happy in your situation.

Oh! I'd better clear this up because I don't want you to get the wrong idea of who you are posting to. I am a guy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I must go for the evening.

God Bless,

JL

JL,

I am sooooo sorry! I assumed wrong...uh, insert foot in mouth (or keyboard).

~IAS

IAS,

No reason to apologize, it is a mistake often made, and I find it a compliment really. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I was thinking about your situation last night and it intrigues me. I was wondering if you would be willing to share some information so that I don't go off the tracks completely.

First, how long were you married to exH?

How long did the affair last and divorce occurred?

What do you think caused you to decide to have an A?

Was there something your H could have or should have done?

Finally, what sort of relationship do you and exH have now? Is it pleasant, just tolerance, or is there still a lot of stress in it?

How old are you, your exH, and OM/Boy Friend?

Next I have wanted to ask you, if you could control your life completely what would it be like? Would you be married? To whom would you be married?

I have lots more questions, but it seems to me you have a lot floating in your head and perhaps by discussing things here you will be able to finally decide what course of action you really want to take. It really is your decision.

I look forward to hearing from you.

God Bless,

JL