My W and I have been continued talking about the affair and she is still not ready to break it off. I can see her conflicts though. She even said that she's discoverying some things she may not like about the OM.<P>She has continued to let me kiss her and rub her back. On a few occasions this has led to <BR>sex. The sex was emotional for me since my nerves are raw and this situation has made me lonely. But I could not keep myself from mentioning some things about the other man. Now she says, 'maybe we should not have sex anymore.' I'm continuing to try to be affectionate but it's difficult to not bring the affair up, to wonder certain aspects of what's going on. <P>I hope she doesn't withdraw, because we have been having heartfelt talks and I thought we were getting somewhere. I think our honesty may be a good sign. Anyone ever have a sort of hot and cold behavior from wayward spouse, while still loving him or her?

There's a reason a lot of us call it the "roller coaster". The situation you are in happens frequently. Be as constant as YOU can be.<P>My H moves in and out of the house and his emotions change.

Thank you so much. I can see the conflict is there in my wife. Would like to encourage it but I won't Doesn't Dr. Harley say the wayward spouse is conflicted too. But perhaps not on the exact same roller coaster. <P>I still want to love her both emotionally and physically. I feel sort of sad about that. I told her I still want to be close unless she has no feelings for me. "how can I not have feelings for you?" she says.<P>Some Love busters from me last evening when I used the f-word; W didn't like it--but later called me and said she could feel my desperation, but that my reactions couldn't clear her head.