I feel WH is lost again and perhaps a second plan B might help him.

Here is what i will write to WH...

Dear WH,
The past few months have been the most difficult time of our lives. For me, the pain and emptiness that I endure on a daily basis is almost too much to bear. But my love and commitment to you is strong and that is what kept me going. How long I can go on, I do not know. One thing I know for sure is that at this moment of writing, I still love with you.

More than anything else in this world, I would like to be able to put the mistakes of the past behind us and build a better life together.

I want us to try for one year at saving this marriage. Most of my friends in marriage builders say that there is happiness in the marriage at the end of the road and I want to see that happening. I believe in this.

I know I would never forgive myself if I did not try that. I want a chance to save this marriage. I want to know that I have tried all the best I can then maybe I can leave saying that I did try my best.

As you know I am still willing to do whatever it takes to correct the mistakes that we have made in the past and make our marriage together stronger and closer than we ever thought possible. With all of my heart, I would like to build a new marriage with you. One, in which we both feel loved, safe, cherished and honored. I simply cannot continue my efforts to rebuild our marriage while you are still involved with Sylvia. It has become too painful. We can only rebuild our marriage together when you completely end your relationship with Sylvia.

Each contact with you while you still have a relationship with Sylvia only takes me one step closer to the divorce plan. This is the only reason why I have put up more boundaries and conditions around your visit here and with Renee.

This separation is a necessity to preserve my love for you and to avoid poisoning all that we have shared together, and to give our marriage the best chance for recovery.

I just cannot be with you or help you as long as you are still involved with Sylvia. I will be willing to discuss our future together as soon as you are willing to permanently separate from Sylvia and are willing to construct a plan to ensure a total separation. Until that time I will continue to pray for our family and us.

I still love you today.

p/s Please show Sylvia this letter.


Why do i want to send a 2nd plan B letter?

1.
because i need to send something. I am going crazy in plan of darkness. I also feel he gets lost and forgets about me and needs to be reminded that i am still me.

2.
Mom called WH this afternoon and WH was complaining about my unreasonable conditions. WH said i am not communicating with him and not allowed to stay at home...etc etc. Made me look like an witch. I think i need to remind him why the conditions were put there.

Should i sent it or not?

am going crazy in plan of darkness

that's because you are way to focused on HIM in YOUR plan B....
you need to seek your own selfworth....
you need to re-send your plan B letter to YOU!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This separation is a necessity to preserve my love for you and to avoid poisoning

here comes betrayed spouse fogspeak...

ready.....
drumroll...

I also feel he gets lost and forgets about me and needs to be reminded that i am still me

impossible.....infact the darker you stay...the more he will
wonder
ponder
guess
die to know
ruminate
think about......
show yourself...and he will be satisfied that he "knows" what and where you are in your head and life...


Made me look like an witch.
yeah mean mean zizzywitch...tells poor HUSBAND that she is not interested in being in a triangle with someone named sylvia...

did you set your mom straight...does she get it now...that it is insane to want to have a wife and girlfriend....

that you believe to much in yourself to have THAT chaos in your life...

yeah zizzy...he's not thinking about YOU at all.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

ark
don't you DARE send another letter...

ditto ark!!!

You utter one peep, missy, and all his curiosity will be satisfied and he'll know he's got you waiting to just take him back no matter how long he stays with her and no matter how badly he treats you.

Let's focus on something else.
What are you going to do for Zizzy this weekend?

Ark...Turtlehead...thank you for responding...am i also going through a symphome of BS desperate actions in plan B?????

Okay...i WON'T send the letter. I dont know what i doing anymore. Everyone around me do not understand plan A and plan B although i tried explaining...they all say i should talk to WH so i get confuse.

I will think of something for this weekend. I have no plans yet. Just taking one day at a time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by zizzycool:
<strong> I dont know what i doing anymore. Everyone around me do not understand plan A and plan B although i tried explaining...they all say i should talk to WH so i get confuse.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><sigh> this is so, so hard on a BS. Our well meaning friends - and OMG, they love us SO much - try to give us advice: Talk to your spouse! How will the two of you ever regain a marriage if you don't talk? Do this, do that. All of their advice, totally contrary to what we are reading and learning here.

I've been there, Z, and all I can say is that when I really, really need focused, experienced, "walk-in-my-shoes" advice, I cannot - will not - go to friends. I come here. I go also to SYMC's bulletin board Save Your Marriage Central

But Z, sadly, I cannot listen to my friends. All I can say is, fortunately for them, they do not know - first hand - what we are experiencing. I hope they never do.

So...my approach...I come here and to SYMC. I have to let my friends have their opinions, and I have to do what I feel is right for me and my M.

Hugs, Z!

Thank Isgirl...when i first found about you in your old thread...i thought there is no way i will wait for WH that longgg. I could not imagine myself waiting for one year!!!.

Now i am already into my 5th month of plan B.

When i look back i am amazed that i have lasted this long!

How are you getting along with lostbird? I hope everything is fine. Lostbird really sounded so much like my WH so i am counting on your story to come out to be a success one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />