Well I guess I have some good news... atleast it isn't negative...
After WS admitted to me that he in my ex-friend/ his co-worker where in deed having an EA, he had a lot to think about the next day. He talked to his mom, who tried to talk some sense into him and make him realize he is putting everything in jeapordy and will lose his three children (2 + one which is on the way....)... and more... Well he came home and was very sad stricken... my motherin law said they both did a lot of crying. We talked when he got home. I was as compassionate and calm and caring as anyone could be. I told him if he didn't want a divorce then he was goign to have to sever all ties with the OW. That I didn't knwo how much longer I could stand it and if it didn't change that he indeed would lose his children. I said I can understand how he feels he has fallen out of love with me and can still care very much but if the only reason to stay in this marriage was for our kids- so be it! That is reason enough to start on the road to recovery. He was crying... and I wasn't (I'm so proud of myself!). I told him God has placed it in my heart to try my hardest to make this marriage work and stick this out but it jsut couldn't with her in the picture. There was a lot of me talking and him listening.... and that was ok with me, I didn't expect him to have any kind of replies, I just wanted him to know where I stood.
Well yesterday he called me on the way home from work and said he wanted to take me out to eat (with the kiddos of course ). The first thing he tells me is that he told the OW that they had to stop what was going on. I don't remember what I asked, but he said he wants our marriage to make it through thsi and he doesn't want to lose his kids and that is the reason. Well he did something he has done in a long while which was bring his cell phone into the house with him (he's been keeping it hidden in his car for a long while---- we all knwo why...). Not 15 min later SHE calls, so I follow him onto the porch where he answers it. After a min of listening he tells her to call her parents, she needs to talk to them and that he can't talk. hmmm.... I asked what that was about and he said she just had a meeting with our pastor and the head of our childens ministry to let her know she wouldn't be able to work in the nursery (where we both work from time to time together!) because she has been making many wrong choices and she needs time to go to church with her husband and figure things out.... and so she was really upset and that was why she called him. I told him that is how this whole mess got started. So we head out the door to the resturant and she friggin calls again! He checks his phone and sees it's from her and closes it right up and never answers it. I told him I appreciated that. 1min later the voicemail ringer rings. He just ignored it.
Well we talked some more at the resturant... and he seems really sincere about wanting to work it out and says he just prays that after a while God will help to have the feelings he once had for me return. I didn't ask any questions about what was said to the OW when he told her they had to call it quits....
When we got home we put he kids to bed and talked out on the porch until midnight. We laughed and cried some more... in the middle of something said I told him again that one of them has to quit because seeing eachother every single day will not help your decision at all, because his feelings will still be there and God knows she is hurting too and by golly she doens't wnat her own marriage to work- so she's going to be trying her hardest to sink in her nails on him now.... that's when he said "I don't know what's going on in her mind.... (pause....)....Stop. I'm going to fix this.".....mmmmmmm. So I did. I don't want to be pushy.. he knows, atleast I pray he knows. So we talked for a long time even joked and laughed some and een talked about sex! lol... oh boy. I can't ... or atleast I really don't want to just have sex, you know?.... ...oh well I guess I'll just cross that bridge when it gets ehre.... I mean it is an EN he has... and I'm supposed to provide just that for him, right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I jsut don't want sex, i want it to be more then that.
So anyways, the night ended with a hug on the porch and he even came back to our bed instead of the couch, and actually laid his hand on my arm/ shoulder while we fell asleep....... That's good right? I am so not wanting to get my hopes up jsut yet... it'sjsut so soon.... I know this is hurting him- us... her....deciding to severe it.... (don't know why I feel such stupid compassion.. well yea I do. It's God... but still....).
Well this morning he calls me from work to tell me the OW just called and she has quit and is coming to pack her things and will also be moving away (3 hrs from here, with her grandmother). He said well that will really end it. And I said no it won't because she can still call you. he said she is really hurt, which I came back with- well she really needs someone else (a female, her dad.. somone else.) not him. She did jsut taht because I talked to him after my Ob appt and he said she came packed up and left.
And that's about it... so we turn over a new stone and it's a new day the Lord has given us. I see a ray of hope, but am trying hard not to put too much of my heart into it. I'm jsut scared. I mean he still doesn't "love me".... that alone can take a long long tiem to come.... and who knows what demented thoughts couldbe going through the OW head, she is just so mad at everyone and feels like my WS is the only one she can talk to.... augh.... but after this morning ws said she herslef also said she had to quit, she couldn't see or talk to him anymore... hmmm.......
I'm starting to feel forgiveness and hope but for the life of me I can not muster the trust... that's is going to take a long time for him to gain that one back.
