I am dreading it...Although we have repaired our marriage, I have anxiety, and really down...My wedding anniversary is 3 days AFTER the affair started...Although I have forgave him and renewed our vows, I am SO dreading the week of both...I feel like it will be stressful, and I have anxiety...I don't feel like the wedding anniversary is as special anymore...in fact, I would just like to skip the whole week...

We are suppose to have a counseling session next week about this - my dh thinks I am being rediculous about this because we need to focus on our future and us, and get over the A.....I KINDA understand, but If it happened to him, I wonder if he would feel the same, or if I am out of line...

any comments???

Hi rainbow,

If this is the first A anniversary since your recovery then by all means,cut yourself some slack and tell your WH to also give you some slack.The first passing of a DDay after recovery is anxiety provoking,not that I would know,but with each year that goes by and you remain in recovery,building and growing together,I am sure the acuteness of it all will subside.

Your WH should be more supportive too so why don't you tell him so.Your WH's denying how you feel is not a good way to keep the lines of communication open and it's disrespectful.

Is there anything going on with your WH that's maybe making you feel insecure,aside from the obvious, telling you that you are ridiculous. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ?

O

<small>[ June 10, 2004, 11:53 AM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

1 year anniversary was, for me, quite stressful. M was going pretty well, OW was totally out of the picture. It was just the time of year, the "timeline" hanging over my head, the reminder that we are so vulnerable. It was very hard.

I asked my H for extra hugs, to make me feel safe, and he obliged.

2 year anniversary was *also* kind of stressful, but nothing like 1 year. It surprised me. I thought I was "past" all that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Since your H wants to look toward the future and "get over" the A (normal for a WS) maybe he'd be more supportive if you could present it as starting this "new year" in a more intimate and supportive fashion?

Don't rush yourself - it takes sweet old TIME.