Hi - I am new to this forum, since I am really confused at the moment and feeling totally helpless. Perhaps someone can give me advice.

I have been married over 9 years now and we have a beautiful son of 5 years. Due to lack of work I have worked on and off overseas over the last 4 years and most of the time have only been home for 2-3 weeks a year.

My wife has always been faithful to me and we had a tremendous relationship in the past. There have been ups and downs like in other marriages but it mostly focused on lack of money and never really about relationship issues. In our marriage we always had open communication and discussed everything.

A few weeks ago I got the good news, that I will be able to work on a long-term contract at home and thus can spent time with my family again.

Last week my wife told me, that she needs to discuss serious things with me when I come back and she would rather do it face to face instead over the phone. She also mentioned, that she fears, that if she tells me now, I would not come back.

I am now fearing the worst. Over the last two months my wife was starting up a new business and met many new people and it is quite possible that she has met someone now. If this was really the case, I can understand that she is now confused and probably has broken off all ties and regrets whatever has happened.

At the moment the situation is odd, since I think she might have had an affair and she has also become distant and says that she has "really ****ed up".

I love her too much that I would not try everything to keep her and also understand that due to the long-term separation she has lacked company and was lone (as much as I was overseas).

Perhaps I am just overreacting and it might not be as bad as I now think. At the moment this whole issue is tearing me apart as I do not want to hear the news over the phone and would rather discuss it face to face - and I still have to wait another 2 1/2 weeks until I am back home.

I do not know how to overcome it now and how I can prepare myself emotionally so that we can reconcile.

Hi

I know its hard, but do not get all worked up. Your instinct might be right, at least your wife is honest about it. And sometimes being honest means that she doesn't want to continue with the relationship, but she is willing that's why she wants you to come home!

See, that's already good news. Maybe she is pregnant? Been a while since you've seen her....
All i can do is guess with you.. but see if there is an affair, I suggest you already read plan A that way you do not make the same mistake all betrayed spouse do here.. we scream we yell, we LB .. then after the anger is gone, we feel sad, betrayed, but we already pushed out Wayward spouse further away from us and make the other person looks a lot better... but plan is to make sure your wife feels safe in your arms again.. EVEN if you want to yell and say "how can you do this to me?" Don't.... just talk about her needs.. and yours.. try to be calm.. Everything will be alright
At first you might be very down .... but it gets better... and expect the roller coaster.. but things do fix themselves after time.

well good luck.. tell us when you get home!

Hi Harudah,

thanks for the reply. It has turned out to the worst I had feared already. My wife had a short-term affair and fell pregnant. I am moving my post here: Story carrying on here....