I just got off the phone with the other BS. This is so strange. The OW and he are getting a divorce. Short marriage of less than one year.
My WH and I have been together for 17, and so I am attempting to save.
This is the third time we've spoken. I called to find out status of divorce but also to go over some time-line stuff that WH will not share completely with me.
He (the BS) is more than generous in speaking with me and attempts to answer any questions to help with my marriage.
I find myself still baffled at the person my WH has found himself "in love" with. I don't know what I expected but her interests lie in such opposite direction then my WH's.
Which I guess is a blessing I suppose.

Just wondering if I am going past the boundaries in speaking with this man. I've got such a broad picture of the OW now. I don't know if my interest in her is sick or useful.
He has assisted in my narrowing down the search of what needs she is meeting. But still it is illusive.
Am I wrong to want to know about her?

The OW husband has been absolutely wonderful and has extended the offer to talk to him anytime in the future. I have been concerned that I am dredging up bad feelings for him and so implied I would make this my last call. He has said,he would love to hear how things turn out for us and/or if I just need to talk to call. I find that comforting to hear. So strange to have such a kindred talk with someone that the only thing we have in common is two spouses that decided to have an A. Life is so weird??

<small>[ June 11, 2004, 02:06 AM: Message edited by: whitefeather ]</small>

whitefeather - I think you mean BS. I have been talking with the other BS since July. We are great friends now. We support each other and compare notes. He has really helped me. And I do my best to support him.

We both were hurting and kept it at that. We discussed keeping it at a friendship level, and that is where it has been.

Yes, you are right I wrote WS when I meant BS.
Thanks I've edited.

I must admit there is something uncomfortable about being comfortable talking with this man. But I realize he has something to offer that no one else can do. That being he has inside information about his wife. And that we are both effected similarly by this A, unlike family and friends.

You concern me that you found it necessary to discuss that ya'll were "keeping it at a friendship level". I'm wondering if that is what I'm feeling to be uncomfortable . . . as if we do connect to easily. Probably best I not call. I could see that since he is getting his divorce that he has no reason to keep to some form of boundaries.
I certainly don't need to add to this A stuff. And I find this all frustrating as our last phone call left me feeling very strong and comforted.

Okay, plan A, plan A, plan A.