I'm telling myself all that has transpired this week is a change for the better.... right? (you can read up on my post earlier this week).

I know it's a long hual from here....

Can you guys feel me in on what can/ may come next? I know dh is going through withdraw... I know he's feeling sad for the lost of breaking of the EA and losing the friendship of the ow (although he hasn't said such... I can just imagine and I just know....- that is what happens with WS's right?). Well that can take a long while, right?.... and then we have to deal with what all is in his head... he said he was feeling unhappy way before my friend (the OW) ever came into the picture... and from what he's told me the reasons, I've changed those... but I know and he knows there are other things just not at the surface that he understands. So we have the dealing with the ending of his "relationship" with OW and him figuring out what is in his head.... after that is done, is that when he'll be able to start working on us? Can it all be done at the same time? Does one have to preceed the other?

He said he does want this marriage to work (for the sake of the kids)... and right now he just feels numb (whatever that means....)! Well then when is he going to be able to work on us? Well what about what I am going through?... I hate him for hurting me and breaking our marriage convenant and betraying me.... But I love him with all my heart and soul at the same time and it hurts so much! I'm so impatient, I know. I'm so tired of feeling empty and alone and unloved. Is this the sacrifice we as BS have to go through in the recovery? ...

on a side note... Not to mention he knows one of my top EN is sex... but that's a no go (I can't bring myself to it because if he does it then it's just sex to him... I want more then jsut sex). But then again, if it's one of his needs then I should try to meet it right?.... augh! But also,... he said a while back that he had no intrest in sex (but he was also in the middle of the friggin EA... so that is probably why, becasue Tuesday night when we talked til midnight he mentioned he does want/ need it.

I only wish he'd open up... but I guess if the guy was never the type to do it and has finally realized that that is a major problem- then it's going to take time for him to learn how to communicate, right?

Any advice would be appreciated, if only to tell me to chill out or give WS some time....

Thanks guys.

Check out the home page, and look under the "quick clicks" that talk about "what to do with a wandering husband", "overcoming resentment", "restoration of the marriage", and "reconciliation".

I think that it is a difficult stage, but at least you are opening up your book, and not just slamming it shut and calling it hopeless.

Numbness, moving toward communicating, and sharing of feelings, opening up the lines that were shut off between a couple...It seems that in marriage there is truly a developmental stage as we mature, honeymoon, careers, children.. The burdens take adjustment. But the rewards are great if we can work through these hard times.

We did a lot of reading together to learn, and we went to MC together, and we worked on the things that came up in our weekly sessions. We learned a lot from the Harley material, questionnaires, and we liked the Shirley Glass book, Not Just Friends. We learned about boundaries needed for the work place, and in general. H had to learn to forgive himself... when he realized how bad this A was to us.

Takes Care, Protection, Honesty and Time.
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