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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 509
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 509 |
Has anyone else thought about this? The in love feeling is basically an illusion IMO. We are all competing with a chemical drug more to than the OP's. What else could make someone who truly loves us turn against us with cruelty? Our WS's are basically drug addicts, but their drug comes from inside the body. The chemical reaction is the fog. I wish humans could have been designed to release that drug after long comitment instead of short. True love is in behavior not chemical fog. Just remember that.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,973
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Oh, the lucky one married to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
True love is certainly a little more, agreed!!! Otherwise, why would anyone stay married, or get married to begin with?
<small>[ June 11, 2004, 12:39 PM: Message edited by: cardinal ]</small>
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 509
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 509 |
Yeah. I mean real love comes with time. I remember feeling the "in love" chemicals with my wife a long time ago, but it changes to a deeper love after being together for years. I just hate how I have to compete with a chemical. Also, the fact that by the time the chemical wears off and the fog clears the damage may be too deep to repair. That's the worst part of this. How long will it last?
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 750
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 750 |
I think you're confusing love with lust...
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
juke - I think you are exactly right. We are hardwired to fall madly in lust. Then hopefully we marry, and as the lust wears off, we develop a better kind of love, with true intimacy. However many stay stuck at the lust (chemical) stage. Then they keep seeking that feeling over and over.
What they do not realize, is that with each new partner, the chemical reaction will fade, and they will be right back where they started.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 509
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 509 |
Well, I know that at least with my WW it's more about all the extra attention he is giving her. Not lust. She is getting a chemical high off of the attention of a new man. She has also had sexual issues in the past which is why I wonder how she is feeling having sex with this guy. She must feel dirty. It took her a while to be comfortable sexually with me. She was raped in highschool and has issues with sex. Our sex life was very normal before this all started. We made love the very day before I found out about affair.
Maybe he isn't into sex as much as me and that makes her feel more comfortable? Who knows. This is all too weird. She has only known him 4 months now and physically for just a month.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Rape issues are a whole different story. She needs counseling for that.
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