My WH had off work today so we decided to see a movie. While driving we starting talking about marriage. He says he is at a point in his life where he feels like he is going nowhere. He had so many dreams and fears that now they will never come true. Like having one of his books published. I didn't LB I just listened. I did say you know that has nothing to do with our marriage. He said I know. And I also said he can still make it happen. We are both 28 and still have lots of years ahead of us.

He said he was sorry for everything. That he never meant for things to turn out like this between us. I asked if he was going to leave. He said to be honest I'm not sure. I just want it to be easy on you. I told him no matter when or how he does it .. That he will never be easy for me. He said I deserve someone that is true, honest, and committed to me 100%, and puts me above all others and he is not sure that is possible with him. He said you are the most wonderful wife,nobody could ask for a better wife. But I just feel that we weren't meant for each other.

I kinda let it go from there. I didn't want to keep pushing. We enjoyed the movie. On the way back home I teased him and said your not going to leave your gonna stay here and your going to be happy. He started laughing and said is that so. In a way I think he wants to leave because he thinks the marriage is not what he wants it to be. But in a way he feels that it will be a huge mistake. I just don't know what to think or feel because some weeks it seems like things are getting back on course and he is the wonderful guy I married. Other times he is so withdrawn.

<small>[ June 11, 2004, 03:32 PM: Message edited by: SadMarylandLady ]</small>

Hard to know what he means. My WH tells me the same thing, that I deserve better, was a good wife, blah, blah, blah. I now look at his actions, and don't listen to his words.

SML: Don't give up hope. Be there for him. Talk to him, ask him questions that make him think, have fun and be yourself. It sounds like he is still in the fog. Remind him why he married you by your actions. Just by being there for him and communicating together will go along way towards helping the two of you recover.

As far as his dreams and goals go, ask him to write them down. Then look and see that it is not the Marriage that determines if these dreams and goals are met. It will probably be awhile (as you work through this roller coaster) until he can focus on working on his dreams and goals. But if he can write them down, that alone will help to set him on his path to achieve them. Plus, by him writing them down, you will see what they are and can see his progress. Too many people don't write their goals down and they drift aimlessly toward them only to get sidetracked at various points in their lives. Good luck and keep us posted.

Blah, blah, blah. And blah, blah, blah. Not only that, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Same-o, Same-o.

Straight out of the WS script.

Very, very, very typical.

Sad, this is what I believe you should think: he's a typical WS who is SO confused he doesn't know whether he's coming or going. AND - you shouldn't try to make sense out of what he's saying. It's all foglatin.

Plan A, Plan A, Plan A.

WAT