My H has been in an affair now for 18 months. Can someone tell me what the chances are of it ending or is it the case that the longer it goes on the less chance there is of it ending?

Most affairs end 6-24 months AFTER discovery. If they are not discovered they can go on indefinitely. When did you find out about it?<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <BR>

I was in and out of an affair for 7 years (mostly in). It has ended, and my marriage luckily is surviving. Anything's possible when she comes to her senses.

My W has been in an affair for 3 years now with a co-worker. That is not going to stop, she is stopping our marriage. One of the things I did wrong was to not set a timeframe for either fixing the marriage or splitting up. The OM wife did the same so while these two played their little games his wife and I tried to keep everything together. My advice: read "surviving An Affair" set a time limit for plan A and go to plan B if required. I don't think it would have neccessarily saved my marrige but it would have saved me possibly a year of healing.....<BR>Good luck and take care of yourself

loveu,<BR>I must have the all time record, my h was in an affair for 11 1/2 years. We have been in recovery for 2 1/2 years. I am still trying to get beyond the hurt. Truly the longer it lasts the longer it takes to recover. Just because your spouse has been in it for 18 months doesn't mean he doesn't want it to end. Sometimes the other person is more of a threat then your spouse will admit. If you want your marriage to recover you need to get the whole thing to come to a head. I wish I had known or at least had the guts to push the envelope and find out what was going on. Blind love is a fairy tale, you either know whats going on or you don't. The affair may be harder to end but end it must or you've got nothing. Neither does your spouse. Living in a fantasy world is a drag for both of you. Have the courage to confront and give an ultimatum, Her or you! I'll be cheering for you!<P>------------------<BR>eyes wide open<BR>

Thanks for all the replies. I found out almost a year ago and I am currently in Plan B. He is living away from home in an apartment by himself, but I know he spends a lot of time with her. He has ended it with her a number of times but she always contacts him again and he goes! I just hope I don't have another year of this.

This is cold comfort, but we don't have to live the entire year at once, it happens one day at a time. I'm 1 1/2 years into it, like you, but 8 months since discovery & 1 month since discovery of the affair resuming. (Ick) Don't sell yourself short you have a LOT of strength if you have made it this far. You've learned a lot, you've cried a lot, you've found yourself. You make decisions & choices every day. So does your H. You can't make his. He can't make yours.<P>I so admire people in Plan B. I've stayed A, but will go to B if he leaves at the end of the month again as he has said he will. Both take STRENGTH.<P>Be good to yourself.<P>I wish you the best.

Thank you Lor for your kind words. I did actually send you an email about 4 days ago since I realised your situation was similar to mine. I was under a different name then so perhaps if you have received it you could read it and let me know your thoughts on it. I admire you tremendously for your strength and I have followed your story for a while. I am struggling with all of this, but I know that one day something has to get better and every day is a little closer to resolution. I focus on my kids and our life here together and just want them to have the best life has to offer, even if their Father is off finding himself at the moment. God has given me so much to be grateful for and that is what I focus on. You are one strong lady. I was in Plan A for 10 months and then went to plan B, then he came home begging for forgiveness and then was gone again, so Plan B it is again. Oh to see the end of this! I guess it's just the kids and I again this weekend and I am thankful to God for them. I'll make it, everyone has to no matter the outcome. Thank you. Tell me, do you have a time frame for your H's afair, in other words, are you looking towards a certain time for it to be over. I am just so scared that in 2 or 3 years from now I am still going to be sitting here hoping my H will see sense. Please God, don't let me be.

Taj- I am interested to know how the affair ended after 11 years?

loveu, I checked my mail, couldn't find anything from you, but there was a bunch of porn in that mailbox and I deleted quite a bit. Not that you wrote me porn... <P>Try speirsbk@aol.com with MB in the subject. I will be gone this coming week, but I'd be happy to correspond with you.