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WW came by the house today...
#1146265 06/13/04 10:43 PM
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juke1225
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We talked about things. She is still clearly in the fog. Still says she loves me though and that it is nice to see me. We even laughed several times. It was weird. I tried to stay stong but tears came from my eyed a few times. I couldn't help it. I still love her so much. It was so nice just to talk to her. She was much more kind this time than last. She was much more like herself. I wish this never would have happened. I feel so pathetic right now. I am so helpless in this situation. I could tell she is much closer to thinking clearly, but she feels like now that people know what she did that she can't come back. It is over and I just need to accept it IMO. I just had to vent.
Re: WW came by the house today...
#1146266 06/13/04 11:06 PM
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Juke - You are very new in this. There will be lots of ups and downs. The fact that she says she loves you is good news, but don't listen to what she says, watch her actions.
Re: WW came by the house today...
#1146267 06/13/04 11:09 PM
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I think being too chicken**** to make amends helped my WW make her choice also. I guess if they were fully committed to coming back they would know they have to face up to everybody. Unfortunately, that just makes it harder. It's easier to get a D and abandon big chunks of your life and go play than to do what's right and work on long-term happiness.

GC
Re: WW came by the house today...
#1146268 06/14/04 09:36 AM
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turtlehead Offline
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juke,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">she feels like now that people know what she did that she can't come back.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How do you know this? Did she tell you, in these words? In words "kind of" like this? Or are you assuming you know she feels like this (and what makes you think she feels this way?)?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It is over and I just need to accept it IMO.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why do you think it is over?


Glad you came here to vent, BTW. It's always a good place to come, in my experience.
Re: WW came by the house today...
#1146269 06/14/04 10:13 AM
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juke1225
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She actually did say that now that people know what she did that she can't come back. Probably just another excuse. I just felt like there was a bit of progress in our talk, but I don't know if I should talk to her more now or what. I was trying to avoid talking for the last two weeks. Yesterday just threw a wrench into things. My family is starting to think that I am better off without her and that she will have more problems down the road because of unresolved personal problems. So I am not sure what I even want now.
Re: WW came by the house today...
#1146270 06/14/04 10:18 AM
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Actually, I should say I am sure what I want. I want her back. Is that the right choice? I don't know.
Re: WW came by the house today...
#1146271 06/14/04 10:24 AM
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turtlehead Offline
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She actually did say that now that people know what she did that she can't come back.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She needs you to show her the way back. She should always know the door is open and you are waiting to welcome her with open arms
WHEN she agrees to NC with the OM
WHEN she agrees to MC
Whatever other things *you* need to feel safe in committing to rebuilding the M.

Maybe she's floundering and looking for a way home?
Re: WW came by the house today...
#1146272 06/14/04 10:33 AM
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juke1225
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Maybe she's floundering and looking for a way home?

That's a nice thought and you never know. I just don't want to let her eat cake by me being around. She definately made it clear yesterday that she wants me in her life in some way. I asked her if she was prepared not to see me anymore. She said that it is up to me if I see her. So she definately wants to stay in contact, but I don't know what her motivation is.

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