You know how when you get very bad news a wave of heat washes over you and leaves your sense of touch numbed?

I have felt exactly like that for over two days. I can't make it go away and it's freaking me out. It's like some spiritual crocodile is shaking the life out of me. Any suggestions?

GC

Did you see that doctor yet and get on AD's?

O

Yes I did. I've been on the ADs for four days. I do look forward to their effects. I'm feeling quite outrageous. I'm actually at work today, though not especially productive. I'll feel proud if I can just get through an entire 9-hour day. I have not worked since the sparrow said she wants a D.

GC

Graycloud,

If you are like me, when you have been punched in the gut,so to speak, you don't feel like eating.

When that happens I get low blood sugar, and I feel just the way you described, weak, shaky. It can get pretty bad. Mentally I get thoughts spinning around and very depressed.

If you haven't been eating, please go have a sandwich right now.

I was like that this morning when I woke up and had to force myself to eat just now, and I'm starting to feel calm.

Some days all I do is eat, sleep, and talk to the Father.

Shul

Could it be the effects of the AD's. I know for the first week and a half taking the AD's I felt shaky, overly alert, and colors around me seemed much brighter...

Maybe a combination of bad nutrition (lost 30 lbs) and the ADs and the sleeping pills. Or it could just be the depression. Lots of things happened at once - sparrow dropped the D bomb, I met OM's W, and I started taking ADs and sleeping pills, all in the course of 48 hours. I think my system is just shocked.

I'll see my doc later this week. Thanks for answering my post. This feeling is really quite horrible and has put a scare into me, but I feel right now like I'll make it through the day. And I will go get that sandwich.

GC

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by StillHereMakingIt:
<strong> Could it be the effects of the AD's. I know for the first week and a half taking the AD's I felt shaky, overly alert, and colors around me seemed much brighter... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey!

I think what you just described might be LSD flashbacks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Pep

Pep LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Graycloud,

Do be aware of any side effects of the medication you are now taking.I don't know which one you are on but your doctor should have discussed this with you at the time he/she prescribed them.

By the by,can I ask why you call your WW "The sparrow"? Just curious,you don't have to answer if you don't care to.I know EXACTLY why I call my WH's OW "THE HOMEWRECKER"!

Nom de plume
~Octobergirl~ The best I could come up with at the time...I was in such shock. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Not sure why I call her "the sparrow". It just flew off my fingers when I was doing one of my first posts, and so it sticks. She is physically small, she is following very simple instincts, and she is flying away, occasionally dive bombing when threatened, so maybe that's why. I call her that when I talk to my friends as well. It feels weird to talk about the cruel, thoughtless things she's done and to use her real name, because the woman with that name was so different in my eyes. It baffles me that she sees herself pursuing a beautiful dream full of love and promise, when it seems so obvious that she is rejecting all the beauty of our life together and leaving people horribly damaged in her wake. It's as if there is no self-awareness there at all.

GC

Thanks for sharing.As soon as I first found out about my WH adultery,the word homewrecker came right to mind to describe that PERSON with whom he is destroying my marriage and family with.It seemed a perfect fit too.

As for my WH,it's weird but I don't even like to call him anything,not even his real name.It makes my skin crawl because it was what I used to know and now that's all different.He is an alien and I don't like him.Part of me will always love him but even that is becoming a faded memory now.It's been replaced with this hollywood horror... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

O

I'm very sorry, Octobergirl. The loss is your cross to bear forever, isn't it? How long has your WH been gone? Has he asked for a D?

I fear I am on my way straight to where you are. Just as my faults came into relief when the sparrow began the A, hers will do the same as I begin to rebuild my life. I suppose it's always possible the sparrow might have a change of heart, but I've seen her fall out of touch with friends and move on and not look back, and I fully expect her to do the same with me, though I never imagined it. Now I know what it means to suffer "indescribable" emotional pain. I know what it is to wonder whether you'd rather not feel anything at all. Nobody worry though, gray is staying here.

GC

Octobergirl, I didn't see your signature before. That must have been awful, two false recoveries.

The OM's W in my situation is having a child in about six months. I wonder if the birth will affect the OM in ways the sparrow is not prepared for. She told me the other day that she expects to be with him ultimately, but "right now he's just a good friend". She is trying to convince herself this is not a "real" affair I think. That her marriage was over before any of this began. Probably typical. Man, it hurts.

graycloud - All of her talk is typical WS fogtalk. I don't remember if I saw you on the WS fogtalk thread or not. But check it out if you get a chance.

Hi Gc,

I have been carrying my marriage alone, sans a few days(week) of false recovery,for about 9 months now and I am the one who is initiating the D.That is not common here,being the BS/Wife that starts the proceedings but I am at the end of my rope and it feels right to me.All along it didn't before but now it does.

I have waited,done all the plans,reading,counseling,went through 2 false recoveries which is why I do not hope anymore and I have had enough of him.I don't advocate D by any means but it is an option for those who cannot bear the burden of pain and suffering any longer.

My WH is clearly lost and confused but I cannot help him any longer.I just want him to be out of my life now.Once he started neglecting his time with the children for the sake of the homewrecker,I knew the man I married and loved was gone.

I can really sympathize with your WW's circumstances as well.Having the OMW be pregnant does put a damper on their fantasy doesn't it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> It is unbelievable what these people will say and do and it hurts.I know,as do we all,what that feeling is like.I NEVER want to feel that again.I almost didn't make it out alive,literally.But I have 2 daughters that need me so much so I go on for them and because I am worthy of more than what I have been handed in the past 9 months.So are you.

Whether or not you and your WW survive this horrible situation together,remains to be seen but YOU will be better off no matter what.I know I will as hard as it is.I can look at myself in the mirror each day knowing I did try my best and I did not hurt anyone in the process.I can face my family and my In-Laws with dignity,I do have that.

Hang in there.We're here for you.

O