I think I messed up, the OW called my H again yesterday after being told countless times to leave us alone. My H has told her several times we are trying to work things out and he doesn’t want her calling anymore. She isn’t getting the hint.

Well I know all her information so I emailed (out of anger) her a really nasty email and basically told her I was going to turn her live upside down like she did mine, I was going to let everyone know what kind of a lying deceitful tramp she was, told her I was going to contact her xH, they are going through a nasty custody battle (he has custody) and let him know what was going on and the real reason she left her job (work found out about the A), this would give him loads of ammunition against her in court. But now it’s the next day and I’m thinking I shouldn’t have done that.

What do I do now?
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

That only feeds her resolution to make you miserable. She knows for certain she's getting to you. You can't undo what's done, just don't do it again.

If you know her phone number, have it blocked so you won't hear from her again - or get caller ID and don't answer any calls that aren't identified as someone you know. If you don't respond or react, she'll get bored after a while.

If your H doesn't know about the email, tell him.

You're pretty soon after DDay and you want to be completely honest with him. You don't want him rushing to defend OW. I doubt he would, sounds like he's made it clear he wants her *gone*. But if you expect your H to POJA and be Radically Honest, you have to do it yourself.

Follow Hope's advice on the rest: block her phone, block her emails. If she calls from different numbers or mails from different accounts, just ignore her. You have bigger fish to fry.

I know it feeds her, and I'm just sick that I let a damn phone call get to me like that. I am just so sick of all this. I can't even begin to start getting over this whole mess we are in because she won't go away. I'd block her phone number but she lives in another state and we can only block in state phone calls. Her number comes up Restricted ID, so it's a toss if it's her or someone else.

H doesn't know about the email and I know I need to tell him. I know he won't be to happy about it, but damit I'm sick and tired of taking the "high road" while she can just do whatever the hell she pleases. I've kept my mouth shut and haven't "let loose" so to speak through any of this. The few times her and I have talked I've been sicking sweet, granted didn't miss any words with her either, but damn one person can only take so much and I think I'm at the end of my rope. Just when things start looking up she rears her ugly mug and I feel like I am back to square one. I was in a horribly fowl mood last night and my H did apologize again but it's like I am having to start over ever time she calls.

I don't know what to do, I feel like I am about ready to go off the deep end. And I don't like the thoughts that are going through my head at all. What am I going to do?

Get caller ID and DO NOT answer to anyone that does not show up as someone you know. Inconvienent? Yes. But no one said this was going to be easy. She'll sooner give up if she can never get through.

If it isn't working - do something different.

She's even calling his work and telling them she is someone else so they will put the calls through.....And with his job he can't just have them take messages...

GRRRRRRRRR....THIS SUCKS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

This is VERY important. Please pay attention to this.

If you send it via AOL, UNSEND IT.

Quickly write down a series of events of things she has done and said to you and when.

SHE MIGHT TRY TO CALL THE POLICE ON YOU AND GET YOU ARRESTED FOR THREATS.

If you have an attorney, let him know about this right away.

You might want to call the police to your house right now and explain that she is harrassing you and your H, and you wrote a nasty e-mail.

PLEASE DO THIS, so you have some thing to fall back on in case this lunatic tries to get you in trouble.

I sent it via hotmail....now what.

Great....just freaking great.

I don't know if it would be considered threatening her, I just told her what I was going to do and that was inform her xH of what was going on and why she left her job, inform her boyfriend what she did and inform her other boyfriend that lives in CA what she did. Then I told her I'd love to be able to tell everyone around her what she was really like.

But that can probably still get me in trouble huh....LIFE SUCKS

call the phone company and see if they have a service called "call intersept" when someone calls from an unavailable or private line they must leave a name then the phone rings and you can here who it is and have option to decline the call if its no one you know or her .

This helps cause you can answer your phone and it don't matter who it is you can decide if you want to accept the call .

Good Luck

So should I be the "bigger" person and send her another email and apologize. Tell her that I was venting out of frustration and I don't plan on exposing her to everyone and their brother??

Or should I just let it go?

Can someone please just put me out of my misery??? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Don't send her another email - definately no apologies, you need to do NC with her - there is nothing to gain and you certainly won't win anything by speaking with her or emailing her

I would get the call display, work out something with the phone so you don't have to accept any more of her calls.


As for your H - he sent a NC letter? When she calls he needs to be short -blunt with her - "I do not wish to talk with you" and he needs to hang up, eventually she will get discouraged and hopefully get on with her life
Good Luck
Sandy

No he hasn't sent her a NC letter, but he's told her over the phone several times he wanted NC. She just doesn't seem to get it or want to get it.

I'm just worried about what whiteknight said....

Why is it that I'm the innocent one in the whole affair mess (Yes I know I helped with the break down in the marriage but the A is all him) and she can get away with whatever she wants and we have to sit quietly by and keep our mouths shut....

I know it's probably wrong but I love what you did. Let that tramp get a little of what's coming to her. I'd love to see you tell the xh about the A so she never gets custody those kids, she is obviously an unfit mother.

What's done is done, we can't dwell on the past just concentrate on the future.

<small>[ August 19, 2004, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight1 ]</small>

Okay so things go from bad to worse today...after my last post, I ran to go get my son from summer school, drop him off at daycare, go and turn around in the round and guess what. I didn't see the other car coming the opposite direction and now my car is more then likely totalled. The car is only worth about $3500 and the whole front in is pretty much gone. The accident was my fault totally but she was going much faster then 20 MPH. My back and neck are freaking killing me....how much more can one person take. My life has sucked for the last 6 months and now this. We are out a car got I don't know what we are going to do. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

WHAT THE HELL ELSE CAN GO WRONG IN MY LIFE???? When are things going to start to turn around.....

Are you ok? How is your son? How are the other people? Was it definately your fault? I guess your insurance will cover a new car; right?

Drink some tea. Relax. Organize your thoughts. Make a plan for the next 1, 5, 10 years. Don't just let things happen in your life. Plan ahead as best you can. You're smart. Take charge.

6 months from now, none of this might even matter.

Smile. You'll be OK. We're here for you.