I have been viewing things in a very negative way, lately, and today I want to try and look at the positive things that are happening, count my blessings , as it were;
- I am doing well in my life in general.
- I am in a safe position to extend love to my husband. While he is experiencing consequences, I am out of harms way.
- I have an opportunity to love him, to meet his needs. There have been times when we have had no contact, and that was very hard. But now we are in contact, so I can "Plan A" him.
-I am increasingly meeting his needs for : affection, admiration, sexual fullfillment, recreation, physical needs like food etc, listening to him, not judging, not condemning, being a friend, making him feel cared about, desired, and so on.
-He is responding by calling more often, visiting more often, letting me see the real him a bit.
-He is discovering that since he is meeting almost none of my needs, and has dished out so much hurt, and that I am still here in spite of it- that I really do care about him; I'm not just with him to use him as a meal ticket or whatever.He is seeing a little unconditional love in action; love in return for hatred etc.
-He has said recently that he wants his life to change- he wants a life with me.
- We are having a bit of fun together, which we never did for so long. Boredom was a factor in our marriage, just work and no play.
-He has said he feels guilty all the time.I think there is a bit of remorse there. I am viewing this as conviction by the Spirit.
- He is now staying with the OW, but he is not happy there. He is finding out that she doesn't care about him or his needs, that she is all about her. He is also finding out that she is slovenly , which is something that annoys him. The reality of being around her is starting to annoy him greatly. He has no feelings for her.
- I am not making any demands on him, or putting any stress on him. I am not clinging or whining etc. He is starting to want to be around me.
All to the good.
Shul
