I am glad you posted , the biggest diffrences I see in our situations that I see are , 1 you have found out about everything at one time, and 2 your h has never left you for one of his affairs, my h left me about 14 yrs ago for a wildebeast ( not a Christian thing to say I know but it is better than what I used to call her) he picked up hitch hiking and talked to on the phone for a couple of weeks before he left. He lived with her for 1 1/2 years. There was 1 emotional affair before that, and 1 emotional affair after, then last years biggie.It was a really sick thing , it started out as a threesome between a friend of h's and his wife and my h, well my h and the w developed strong feelings for each other, and were seeing each other w/o her h sometimes her h found out went crying affair to his parents, of course he didn't bother to share with them how this nasty business got started. Friends mom called me,I called h, and then I called prayer partners , at 2 am no less, thank God for the body of Christ !! Needless to say this has been hard, H is not a Christian, I was converted after our marriage. We had renewed our vows in the church I was going to 3 months before discovery, while he was in the midst of the affair, that was almost enough to crush me, I haven't even looked at the pictures from that day since discovery.<BR> I have to admit that I thought seriously though of divorce AND of suicide when I found out, h was insisting on bringing ow to our home the night I found out despite my begging him not to, thankfully she decided not to leave her h, I think what she had wanted was for my h to just not come home and for them to just walk off and live happily ever after. <BR> I have many reasons for staying, this is my h, I have sworn before God to stay with him till death do us part, I love him, but I must admit there were also other less honorable reasons too. I have some serious health issuses , and with out the insurance from his job I would not have been able to get the medications that I have need of, due to the meds I take and my illnesses and a lack of education and training I would have been unable to support my son who is still in high school and myself. I am ashamed of that but it is honest, and I really do love him.<BR> The only thing I can tell you is that you are in for a long ride, be glad you are a Christian, I have been through this as a Christian and as a non christian, I don't know how I survived it before.<BR> The feelings of betrayal you have are very intense for you right now, as are your h's feelings of guilt. He needs to remember that these affairs are in the past for him, but for you they just happened. I suggest you both get some Christ centered counseling, I will be glad to talk to you and or your h by email if you wish, and my h post's here too, as debs_bozo. <BR>Feel free to post to him and ask him whatever you want, this site has really helped us, I still fight bouts of depression, but hey it gets easier with time. Remember love is a decision not a feeling. Love you h, you may not have the same feelings you did before but they can grow and be even better.<BR> Also remember that just because we are Christian does not mean we aren't all tempted and that we never fall, it means we will be tempted even more, and when we fall it is very hard on us because we know how wrong we are.<BR>my email address is<BR>notagaintx@yahoo.com<BR>oh yes to reply to a post just hit the post reply words at the top of that post.<BR>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Bozos_ Deb (edited September 16, 1999).]
