I was all set not to contact WH is any form, but I emailed my WH yesterday, I didn't get any response.

The reason why I did it was his grandfather just celebrated his 90th birthday. Both of us sent gifts, of course I signed his name to the gift, I don't know if he did the same.

We both agree early on we were not going to tell his grandfather. He has had triple by-pass surgery and his health is ailing. He is close to death and he doesn't need to be told of our separation.

His grandfather is a smart man, he is going to figure out something is up if we are sending gifts separately. Father's day is coming up and I want to know how to handle it. I said if I don't hear from him by tonight I'm signing only my name. Was I too harsh?

Did I do the right thing? We agree when we separated I was going to handle the cards and gifts for his grandfather. Granted he should send something to him, but let me know. Maybe I could have left the gift out for him to pick up and he could have sent the gifts together.

I shouldn't have not contact my WH, but what should I have done? I thought email was the best way to handle it, instead of calling him. I want to stay in the dark.

i believe when you say you want to stay dark means you are in Plan B?

What you did sending that email is a no-no in plan B. You only did that because you wanted to know he is still there waiting for you. It was YOU that needed the fix and NOT him. You are in a BS fog too. You cannot see that what you are doing is only making more harm than good.

So you sent the email...now what? Now you feel upset because he did not reply the email. Is that a great feeling? I do not think so. Next time do not contact him.

At the same time i do not blame you...i fell so many times...but NOT as much as believer... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> if she reads this i am sure she will make a remark or two.

Back to your case...do not break plan B...it is to protect your love...it is about you and not about him. Each time i break plan B i lose a little more love and respect for him because i get disappointed and hurt with his inconsideration of me.

After you break plan B many times...you will end up wanting to divorce WH. I doubt this is the process of plan B but if you keep breaking plan B i believe this is where you will be heading eventually.

So to save guard yourself...do not break plan B...i know this will be hard. What if you ask us folks here first about any attempt you decide to make before you actually do it. We can give u a lot of support and feedback.

Take care. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I know I shouldn't have emailed him, but I did. Next time I ask your opinion first. I goofed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

He did finally email me back. He told me to send things separately to his grandfather. As I mentioned in the email, even though his grandfather is in ailing health, he is still a very smart man. So he knows something is up.

My husband hasn't told him anything yet because of his health, and if or when he does he will probably say we are separated and not that he is off playing house with a malipulating married woman.

I was shocked that I got a response back, last time I heard from him, we talked for about a hour,(he told me to call him) but the OW was in the background, making sure I knew she was there. The longer we talked, the angrier she became. I'm sure she laid down the law after our conversation. I guess I'm still a threat. That was back in mid-May.

I don't know how to handle our anniversary in July. He did contact me back in April to say he remember that this is the day he ask me to marry me. So maybe he'll try contacting me on our anniversary. What should I do if he does?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by HopelesslyDevoted2:
<strong> maybe he'll try contacting me on our anniversary. What should I do if he does? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hun,

Listen. You are in Plan B. Plan B is to show WS what life will be like if you end up Div'd. You meet NONE of his EN's. And you don't expect him to meet any of yours.

This would have to - by design - include "sweet memories" of past events (such as your anniversaries). Plan B is supposed to give him a taste of exactly what life will be like if he continues on this course he's on.

If you come out of it any time there is a "special" occasion, you are only prolonging the agony (for him as well as for yourself), since he won't get the full impact of your complete absence in his life.

Yes, it's a big impact on YOU, too, but that's what we're here for! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> We are here to help you get through it as painlessly as is humanly possible.

Besides, what would be wrong with HIM trying to contact YOU on that "special occasion" and finding that you're off having the time of YOUR LIFE (without him!)? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
THAT would give him a reason to think you've "gotten over" him, and moved on.........

Might help pull his head of his aaaaaaa...................whatever. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Love & Prayers,

<small>[ June 16, 2004, 04:07 PM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>

The week of our anniversary is going to be hard one, especially since I will be attending two weddings.

I wasn't really going to go, but one of my friends will be moving 3000 miles away. So this is the last oppurtunity that I will get to see her before she moves.

I can't believe one of the happiest days of my life is now a day that will bring unhappiness.Last anniversary he said he will always love me and looking forward to many more happy years with me. Three months later he is having an A.

I will stay dark and before I do anything I will run it by MB first. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Just remember you are also in a kind of fog yourself. You are in denial...you keep thinking that he is soon turning and soon to come home and soon to help you save this marriage...this thoughts will keep you going on and on. It will also help you break plan B. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My anniversary was yesterday. Not one squeek from WH...absolutely ZERO. Did he remember it? Yes...i am sure without doubt he remembers it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />