Hello.

I just wanted to share a situation that happened last night.

I decided last week that I was going to join Weight Watchers as I need to lose a few pounds. I thought the support I would receive and the accountability would motivate me to finally reach my goal.

I picked up a rottissiere (SP?) chicken on the way home for dinner. The chicken leaked in the car through the bag. No big deal, right?

Well, H freaks out. He starts yelling a screaming about the chicken leaking. He stayed in the garage just sitting there fuming.

I went in and in my most cheerful voice asked him if he would like to help me with dinner. He replied - NO!!

I then said I suppose you would like to be left alone. Again, very nicely. He screams at me,"Well, OBVIOUSLY I'm F'in sitting out here, aren't I?"

I told him it was hard for me to know what he wanted if he didn't tell me and told him I would fix dinner by myself. Mind you, all of this was very calm on my end.

Then I heard him come in and start throwing things around downstairs. He was punching the dresser and the filing cabinet. I went down to get our son, who is almost two, as he was walking around after his father saying:
"Bad? Bad? Bad?" It was really sad.

I took him upstairs and as I am setting the table, H appears by the front door changed and quickly slips out and LEAVES!

I was so angry that he did this. I deal with our four children practically 24/7 and he gets to bolt when things are not to his liking? My 11 year old told me he had thrown the dryer lint garbage bag all over our laundry room as well. It took 10-15 minutes to clean this up.

He finally returned after 1.5 hours. I asked him if he would like to have something to eat. he was furious and began making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He was just shoving them in his mouth like some sort of animal. It was all quite ridiculous. I asked him if he left he needed some time to clear his head. He responded angrily: "NO! I don't need anything!"

We then went down stairs where he proceeded to ignore me. Then he spouts off with how I'm pissing his money away on Weight Watchers. He mentions the weight set I have which I haven't used in 3 weeks as I had just recovered from a kidney infection and was getting a slow start back. (How dare I!!)

He on the other hand, has a complete free weight system which he never uses and you don't hear me lecturing him.

It drives me CRAZY that he checks up on me this way as though I'm some sort of child. I was very angry that he was not supportive of me. He had lectured me the whole way in the car about how the Marines will strip all excess weight off of you within 12 weeks. I told him was looking to make a lifestyle change that I could not maintain, not some quick fix horrible punishment. He told me he figured I was too soft to comply with these rigid standards. ( I laughed inside my head as I thought of all the torture I've had to endure the last 2 years)

Anyway, I told him that I was trying very hard to make changes. I told him that I cared very much if he was upset or angry and that I would gladly listen to his concerns. I let him know that our marraige is important to me and that I did not want to make the same mistakes I had in the past.

He just kind of rolled his eyes and went to bed without a word except:
"Ok, I know you're "Trying" the best YOU can do" VERY SARCASTICALLY.

Then I go in our bathroom to find my toothbrush in the trash. He threw it away as it was too close to his and he didn't want my filthy germs all over his toothbrush??!!

What in the world is this all about? Is he angry about me joining WW? Was the chicken juice ion the car, just TOO much for him to bear? It is all so confusing. He goes totally out of control over little things.

We had just had a wonderful week. I told him I was feeling like I wanted to be in love with someone again and I wanted that person to be him. There were long conversations. Lots of affection. I told him how I felt about things and he shared with me as well. He would lean his leg against me in bed and reach for me if I moved even slightly away from him just to maintain contact...

Am I handling this right? Any advice on how to set boundaries with someone who acts this way?

Ughhh!!
A very confused,
Natalie