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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 130
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 130 |
After an A is exposed many WS profess that they don't have or ever had feelings for the BS. If this is the case then why hide the A. It shouldn't be something to hide because feelings aren't there for BS so why care what BS knows and thinks. Any opinions?
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965 |
Staggered,
I think what you describe is part of a WS' initial "let's forget this ever happened and move on" response.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 261
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 261 |
I'd say it's because the whole "I never had feelings for you" is a line of crap. You don't marry someone you have no feelings for. Yes, maybe they've faded, but if the feelings were truly gone, why not leave before getting involved with someone else?
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 673
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 673 |
staggered -
Good question. I think it's just fog talk or one of the excuses they use to justify their A.
My H said something a little different...He said that he never stopped loving me, but thought I didn't love him. Yet, he admits that he knew I would be very hurt and upset if I knew/learned of the A. So, my question was: If I didn't love you, why would I be hurt and upset over your A?
Just different gibberish.
Take care.
sss
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 130
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 130 |
I have to agree. It is absolutely ridiculous to say you have never had feelings. I believe feelings can fade but as stated if gone why not leave before affair. Any WS or others with opinions?
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262 |
Why hide the affair? </font> - <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Financial ramifications of divorce</font></li>
- <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Commitment to family</font></li>
- <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Fear of change</font></li>
- <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Fear of disapproval of family/friends</font></li>
- <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Fear of hurting spouse (loss of love does not mean an automatic desire to hurt)</font></li>
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> These are just a few of the reasons often cited. Does it make it right...nope. But it explains why the WS doesn't just drop a spouse and the whole associated life. It's been said here before...trying to make sense of something that makes no sense will drive you nuts. Low
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